Dummies Guide To Edmund

buzzin'

2011-08-04T01:38:00.003+08:00

That floaty feeling.
When the simplest action becomes complex mathematics.
Its a challenge to move, and suddenly moving becomes the ultimate fun and amusement.
Amazing. Why can't things be this simple?
As a result, the mind is occupied. Its all abou the present. What to do next, what to do next, what to do next...what happened just now?
It becomes a game of instinct. And it all becomes uninhibited.
Sound is slightly drowned out while the world is spinning.
Blurting nonsense and cheering for no reason.
Get up, get down, and jump around...total nuisance.
Not to mention embarassment.
Best part of it all, the memory's clean.
And you know you felt the most alive and free in that time.

Simply lovely.

2011-05-27T18:56:00.001+08:00

"I'd dump that bitch!"

If only it were that easy...

2011-05-27T00:03:00.002+08:00

Being part of MJ soccer will always remain a special part of my life.
Been two years since I last rep'd the school at the competition but all of us remember the crazy and funny shit like it was just yesterday.

And the brotherhood and the bonds I made with the team...incredible stuff.

Winning is one thing, but it really brings a smile to my face seeing the teams after me being so tight with one another.

The silverware is not the only thing that we take away from the journey!

2011-05-16T19:40:00.003+08:00

I need to feel something. A thrill.
Something.

Everyday when nothing happens for me its another day when I don't feel accomplished.
Life is short.
What does being alive mean?
Its about feeling something. Its about having a feeling. That, is feeling alive.
When you feel nothing its pointless...even animals feel something.
Is life too easy? Is it too comfortable?
Are we caught in this routine, this circle...are we all aiming and striving, only to end up being average?
Some people are ok with being normal, like what I said earlier. They ARE born normal. Like everybody else. Which is why they are never lonely! There are many people like them! They are happy with this lack of a variety of emotions. All they feel is something related to work...most likely to be frustration. Eventually, the joy of taking the salary.

That can be rewarding. In a sense. You might feel its a fulfilling enough life. But I feel I need something more. Something explosive. A real thrill. That type of feeling like when I crashed the bike in Thailand and came out fine. That sort of feeling. "Fuck I'm alive". Heart pounds. Sweat. Adrenaline.

I don't wanna die again of course. That's happened twice and that's fucking worrying.
Just a rush of emotion. I need that. Feeling a sense of accomplishment would be nice.
Or a surge of passion, love, maybe. Or even the simple wonder of discovering a new place.

This country is so sterile, its so sedate; it does not inspire me much. My brain feels so underused and rusty...its hard for me to even pursue what I want and commit my brain cells fo that purpose because the situation in this place does not allow it.

Maybe I'm too free, I'm too bored.
Probably.
Life needs to be more fulfilling than this.
I should go do some charity work.

2011-05-12T01:22:00.001+08:00

What if I said I'm not like the others?
What if I said I'm not just another one of your plays
You're the pretender
What if I said I will never surrender?

2011-05-07T02:35:00.003+08:00

Think I'm a real outdoor person.

Was feeling sickly a little and the after I came back from a shorter than usual run (cause I was feeling sickly) and perspired like hell, and I feel invigorated and fine again.

I should live in the jungle and be like Tarzan. Oh wait, what jungle?

2011-05-04T15:34:00.002+08:00

The facebook and Youtube "Like" thing has started a terrible syndrome.

2011-05-04T14:23:00.002+08:00

My fears are confirmed.
We are really breeding a selfish, spoilt, superficial, arrogant, ungrateful generation.

I already felt that it was evident from the current tastes in music. Its just catchy tunes, that people want to hear, popularised by media, and heavily influened by the consensus and majority.

Its now a lot about what YOU want, whether YOU get it.
What you see, whether its a pretty picture or not.
Things that are done for you are being forgetten very easily. There has to be more. More. And more. Fuck off if it ain't perfect.

Are we more concerned of how it smells and looks, rather than what it tastes? Do the insides matter anymore? Do others matter to you anymore?

There are so many surface level things I see that make me sick. I don't like things that're not real; just for show. Its all about your cool perceptions and disposition, and especially how you proclaim it, and share it with the masses.

To me, thats a sad form of self fulfillment.

2011-05-02T23:46:00.002+08:00

Why be sad? Be angry! Its easier to release frustration rather than depression.
Sadism results in joy, ultimately. Sadness only results in self destruction and wallowing in self pity. Pointless.
Think I've said this before.

But beyond all that, is an emotion that is slightly scarier.
Nothing.
Nothing begets nothing, and that is boring.
No drive, no targets, no motivation to IMPROVE, which is a pretty big thing for me.
But here comes that feeling again Edmund. A pointless time, especially since all the buds are pre-occupied. (commitments, wink)

Anger and sadness has actually spurred reaction from me in the past. It has led to the occupation of my time, and at the end of it all there is that sense of achievment.

Trouble, anyone?

Steeeeefuuuuuuuuuuuu

2011-04-27T22:18:00.003+08:00

Let me tell you the thing about opinions.

Almost all the time,
everyone has their own. Sometimes the subject does not; but the person is a jellyfish and has no backbone.
You can tell me yours, but you don't need to proclaim it.
You don't need to drive it through with a hammer...or saliva.
I geddit I geddit...I get your point.
But sometimes, just sometimes, I don't wanna hear it.

I have mine and you have yours and when you exert yours on mine it greatly infringes on mine and I disagree with yours.
And when this happens and you keep enforcing your point of view on me, it is a great nuisance. Even more so when you do it all over the place. Even more so when your opinion is on something so trivial and unimportant.

Its a simple statement I would like to say, but due to the fear of being offensive and treading on toes, I can only say it here.

Shut the fuck up.

By the way this post is an opinion as well, so you can jolly well tell me to do the same.

On your own blog.

2011-04-21T14:48:00.005+08:00

ARGHHHHHHHHHHH I'M SO ANNOYED

Note to self: don't depend on people that are attached cause they will ditch you at the last moment even though you are in dire straits and are pressed for time.

2011-04-17T22:49:00.001+08:00

I thought you were cool.

Until I followed you on twitter.

2011-03-27T22:26:00.002+08:00

If you two really need to be in contact with each other at all times, be in communication everywhere, I have a suggestion for you guys.

My suggestion is: Ducttape.

MRT Ride

2011-03-16T23:43:00.003+08:00

Nowadays I really look at young children with a huge envy and wisfulness.

Such a simple life. And they are showered with such love and attention. I saw a toddler in a pram this afternoon, when I was on the train to school, and she was abosolutely adorable. She made a mess when she was drinking water from her milk bottle. The mum cleaned her up and showered her with kisses. Wow. Very heartwarming stuff. Admire the mum's dedication. And I admire her as well for having a kid, and her pride in having this kid. This kid was really appreciative too...hope she never loses that. That is pretty rare this days. I just feel that people like to complain and grouse abou things so much they don't see who's good to them, or the effort people put in for them. Btw one of my pet peeves is people who complain about their mum and dad publicly. I find it rather disrespectful and unappreciative of them. Although I make allowances for some people...

So the sad part for the kid is growing up and knowing, experiencing stuff. Who knows whats gonna happen in the future.

Which is why I love this song. It's a wild world, really.

Jabba Daba Doo

2011-02-22T00:18:00.002+08:00

Haven't been coming up with one of them long long eddie blog posts in awhile and the reason is cause I've felt rather cut off from the people that read this and there was no point blabbing on and on and on here. And also I have been into other stuff like film and believe it a lot, watching a lot of dance stuff. Really cool how they articulate a story through their movements...so I enjoy that quite a bit. But I will not pretend that I can dance...I am better at being short than dancing.

This post will be to all my *AHEM* fans and just a little update as to how 2011 has gone so far. Errrr...pretty calm and chill really. Been that way since August last year I think. Very sedated, very laidback, haven't had much committments and STRESS, even with school starting. Looking for some dynamism now though, could use something worth cracking my head over...yup which is why I started thinking of little clips and films I can do. No budget, so that a bit of a restraint.

School is pretty okay, I'm doing what I've got a passion in so theres that bit of motivation. Still a very lepak (chill) life.

Even with the new people its the same. Decided to take my time warm up to em and I'm still discovering new things. After 2 years in the classroom with creatures with no phalluses in mj, I still need time to get adjusted to being in a class of more than 10 guys. All with their own pride thingy and their own strong points of opinion, so lets be nice to them boyos shall we. But I like the class,fun bunch. Good mix of charactors. Quirky, what to do, mass comm after all.

In mj, Soccer boys don't count, we were never in a classroom wtf!

However it must be said that the new people aren't as spontaneous as I hoped though. I get excited for different reasons and maybe also cause everyone has their own things to do, like work and bf/gf... so they all scoot off and disappear. Or maybe I'm just too unpredictable and outta my mind...hence many things are not as exciting or I'm hoping for too many things to happen.

Not much to talk about really, pretty mucht the same guy, cept now the screws seem looser and my "fuck the world" meter has gone up. And that came with my "self consciousness" meter going down. The result: my overall "public nuisance" meter going up.

Valen...what?

2011-02-14T23:05:00.003+08:00

Vday seems like a nice excuse to build a storyline around so that is precisely what I did.
Smoother changes in scene, more shots per take.
Honestly I think this is an improvement.
Still room for more progress though. This was relatively simple to film and I might wanna make more complex stuff in the future.
One step at a time...I shall start small first and simple.
Theres a standard I hope to reach by a certain time and I will only get there with practise.

Oh of course the video reflects my views on the occasion...
I don't take it seriously. Not anymore at least!

But I will not deny that this may be caused by the fact that theres nobody in my life to go all gaga and lovey dovey over and frankly speaking, I might have become more eccentric (God fobid) and that might just make things(finding someone) a little bit harder.

Just sayin'....

Kick Start

2011-02-09T20:15:00.003+08:00

Ok so this is a video I did myself in one afternoon. I filmed, positioned the camera, wrote the story, edited bla blab... I did every fucking thing myself.
Yes it is meant to be retarded and not make much sense.
Yes I look retarded acting with nothing around me.
Yes I am fucking 19 years old but act like 10 in the video.

But this is the best story I could come up within the constraints of the house. My main concern was the transition from angle to angle, how they changed takes and scenes. Haivng one camera made it challenging as it meant that I had to repeat the same scenes again and again, with the camera in a different location and angle.

So now is it really a stupid, pointless video??

I figured since I was into film and stuff, the best way to learn the ropes is to atually make stuff myself. Few people have the same interests and would bother to help, so I had to do it myself. So if you are reading this and wanna help or star in my future stuff, please let me know hahaha

Heres the video, short film

I'm sorry if you find this pointless and a waste of time. If you can't appreciate the thought behind this simple film, I have nothing to say.

Oh I made a Chinese New Year video with Brian.
It wasn't well shot at all...That was also another learning point for me.
So this video had around 2 shots per scene.

Wait for the next one. I guarantee it will be much better

2011-02-09T00:27:00.001+08:00

Let me see you try coming up with something within the restrains of 4 walls and nothing but yourself!

2011-01-02T23:58:00.001+08:00

Disposable.
Dont think its that bad...

Dread the day that status changes to
Disposed.

Inevitable,though

2011 Resolutions

2010-12-31T02:19:00.002+08:00

Keep the faith in Arsenal
Make sure important people stay important to me.
Make my first film(anyone wants to help?)
Do well in school cause I'm finally studying what I want to study
Get back a little of my keepin' prowess
Get fitter. Note FITTER
Dance better. Have better coordination

More if I think of more...

Year In Review

2010-12-31T00:29:00.002+08:00

I like to review my year, every year;

The world has spun but I feel left behind

A year has passed just like that, and this has been a year that is rather bleak.
It is increasingly obvious that I have "lost" many bonds and friendships as this year has passed by.
Its not that there was a falling out or anything, just that they've got better things to do than to be bothered with me.
It is human nature to adapt to new circumstances and establish new contacts as they go on, while older ones just become more stale and collect dust.
It is natural, I understand. People have other more compelling obligations as time goes by. People have been scooting off to various parts of the world as well!

But I guess it is just me. It's a hassle. It's like gardening, and I have no patience for it. You have to nurture a plant, cut it off when it is dead, and plant it again...just like bonds between people. I would like a plant that stays nice and pretty forever. I am lazy that way.

And I am also typically that kind of person. The close friend thats forgotten.

Maybe if I had more issues and problems, it would be easier to remember. Apparently people get close through trials and tribulations.
However, I don't rock life out that way. I rather stay carefree.

Sometimes it's a little sad that I have to go out and contact people, who will otherwise get on with their lives.
Sure they are happy to see me, but after seeing me it slowly fades away again...
"Oh he's alive and fine"

There has to be more substance in friendships and relationships and stuff...

The romantic in me(oh Edmund is talking about romance) feels that bonds should be long lasting and substantial. If it is forgotten, it don't mean shit.

Quite simply, I want to feel like I mean shit to people.

That could be a goal in the New Year.

2010-12-09T22:59:00.002+08:00

Hit me
I want you to do it
Don't keep it inside!
Hit me!
Or scream!
Scream at me
Tell me you are angry
Scream, then hit me
Slap, punch, kick
Hurt me...
Cause you are angry and I, deserve it
Deserve to be hurt
Deserve to know

Keep it inside, why keep it inside
Why keep the anger inside
Simmering in your stomach
The only thing you can do when you keep it in
is just tell other about it
change opinions
warp it
oh wait...

that works too

2010-12-09T00:29:00.001+08:00

hate it when people machiam paham about music, acting like they know a lot, when their knowledge is really peanuts.

don't put talent to shame please.
cause I doubt you really know that true talent is.

empty vessels make the most noise.

Fit In

2010-12-05T23:18:00.002+08:00

I think I should try and fit in (with society)

I should wear skinny jeans and slippers.
My jeans will be black.
I will wear a funny top.

I should dye my hair.

I should leave a long fringe.

I should flick my long fringe every nanosecond.

I should punctuate every half sentence with a profanity.

i should hide a parang under my shirt when I go out...

Beginnings

2010-11-27T00:49:00.002+08:00

Just a little update on my not-so-important-life...

School has started and frankly, its a really new experience, and I really gotta tread carefully...
People are different here, the humour's different, the age groups different, so everyone has their own niggly dislikes, insecurities, bla bla bla...
So gotta watch what I do or say, before I become treated as a virus in their system, something that does not belong, something that has to be eliminated!

Definitely do not want to come across as an overly brash, loony sort of fella(at the start), really gotta build up relations first...
It is a really international class I have, from all over the place. Getting used to accents is one thing, and trying to understand abit of their culture is another. Interesting.

Definitely hope communication will be smooth, or smoother in the future. That would kinda make school more interesting. Probably. (unless what people are saying is really like WTFWASTEMYTIME but that is rather unlikely)

Lessons are interesting. Can actually say that I enjoy them to a certain extent. Lots of interactive stuff. Could do with a bit more enthusiasm around though, but hey, I'm not complaining...its definitely not a pain to sit through class. For the moment at least.

Social wise, could do with more friends perhaps. Everyone seems to go home after school, or maybe I'm not cool enough to be invited along on activities, I don't know. Hopefully this is something that can be fixed.

Then again, anonymity is rather enjoyable too...sometimes

Being the new kid on the block, definitely gonna be a challenge. People seem nice though, actually...

Oh here we go again...

2010-11-13T11:52:00.005+08:00

21, then 22, a new beginning in so many ways.

Its like everytime I go some place new, its a reinvention of the Edmund.

A totally fresh page!

Wish I could carry some things over from the past, rather than everything being entirely new.

One such thing, that would be nice, is FRIENDS.

It might be a pain getting to know new people all over again.

Also, the scary thing is that the older pages might also be torn and thrown away.

Entirely forgotten.

Why? It could be cause I'm one of those pages in the bin.

Others go through reinventions too don't they.

As they bid to rid themselves of a past that hurts, or do not want to look back on, or simply want to leave behind, cause the pages up ahead are so much more "enriching" and "fulfilling", they just rip those old pages out and hurl them aside.

A newer, cooler THEM has been created!

A newer, FAKER them could also have been spawned in the process. (At the same time, I'm taking a dig at someone's ex girlfriend actually. Just so you know)

So it's going to be a challenging experience in days to come? Maybe...

Definitely a very DIFFERENT route.

But heck, its me!

I am starting to believe that I'm one of the furthest things from CONVENTION.

It might be exciting, explosive, or maybe incredibly staid and bland.

Who knows?

Going there would be like groping around in the dark I guess.

I'm so clueless.

Its gonna be so unpredictable.

We wouldn't have it any other way for me, would we?

And as a good friend also said, "SITUATIONAL ADAPTIBILITY SENG!" (in one of his bullshit speeches)

Scary, Sexy?

2010-10-28T20:41:00.001+08:00

This is us fooling around with halloween masks in GIANT. Brian's the white bitch...I'm the gayh dwarf. Oooooooo sexy...

The video's on facebook too!

Old. Part 2

2010-10-26T00:14:00.005+08:00

Once again, I'm back to the topic of AGE. Think I've done a post similar to this before, but whattheheck whatever...

I like being young, cause it means I can be stupid. Like do stupid things and be forgiven for it more easily, cause I can just look back at those crazy shit and simply say, "Ahhhhh I was young and stupid...good days, good days".

When responsibility was just growing and developing as a person...when my responsibility is just to learn it(responsibility).

Actually practising it is something else entirely, and I believe to be a terrible pain up the rear...
Responsibility means you have to worry, about this, about that. Worries, spoil the fun.

I technically have about a year and a month to enjoy being teen. Before that painful TY hits me. I feel kinda lucky though, I turn 19 in a month, but some others turn 20 in 3. Wow. All the best, seniors!

So far my 18th year of existence has pretty much been everything it should be, minus school. By right being 18 means being in school, and I will somehow, (just manage to) start after I finish good ol' 18. (I start school a day after it)

This year has been rather aimless, crazy, eventful in so many ways...in so many ways of being young. The most serious issue I had to deal with was making a choice for school, and that ain't really old age stuff ain't it? Maybe watching my finances was kinda a sneak peek into greying hair days...but what the fuck I blew it on whatever I wanted to splurge on! Kinda different from worrying about my kid's expenses and milk powder money doesn't it?

Whoa whoa who before you start thinking I've just been a wastrel spending all my parents money like hell...I haven't! Perhaps only in emergencies, but I've pretty much been working too and earning spending money. Just that my job isn't exactly the usual desk, boring shit...I have been a bangla carrying stuff, painting stuff, fixing stuff, doing construction work on top of some fun stuff like driving boats and buggies. Again, not exactly boring shit that requires wearing smart casual right?

Been playing A LOT of video games recently. Gotta really relish it, I heard wives rather their husbands go out work or better still, help with the housework rather than sit and stone and tap away on the controller and do it for a whole day. If my dad does that, I think I will have to go out hunting for food with whatever intruments of hurt that I can find it home...(Maybe my toothbrush, I has caused me hurt before...bleeding gums. As for game, I hope cat tastes good, thats all they have in the HDB wilderness of Tampines. so lets go out and brush the cats to death!)

Oh the holiday was great...and like I said I hope to make a video compilation thing and share some pictures here. Losing my mind there was great as well!

With all these said, I haven't been abusing substances or anything like that just to be all wow and wild, as part of being young. That's fucking stupid. I've had my brain tampered with, and I don't need anything to fuck up my brain...metal plates and screws are enough. Paying to kill myself...no thanks. A little alchohol won't hurt though...I heard it's good for the heart, in more ways than one. (if you know what I mean)

So comes the end of another post. This post was one of dread and fear. No one knows what the future brings, but its highly probable that it's gonna become more serious and whole lot less fun. Maturity does that to you sometimes.

Lets hope it's a disease I won't catch.

Krabi Summarised

2010-10-24T22:00:00.002+08:00

Awesome company.

Bike Crash.

Funny incident with toilet sanitation.

Sailed in a storm.

Climbed natural rock formations.

Spun on rope.

Dangled mid air.

Lost my mind.

Kena disturb by tranny.

Danced everywhere.

Got to the top of a mountain.

Played with monkeys.

Did I mention awesome company?

Pics and videos to follow!

September Ramble Scramble

2010-09-27T23:06:00.004+08:00

gonna reply my tags here since the tagboard aint working

nicole: hahahaha invigilation is a boring activity I was occupying myself playing all this little games. makes it all so fun watching people stressed...when stress is not a word in my dictionary now :D eh all the best ar!

your student: orh. you talk LIKE you know a lot about me... damn, didn't know that I was famous enough to have stalkers. So comforting to know...but please read the tabloids more often to get more accurate rumours about me. But its a been a pleasure conversing with my fanboy :)

.............................................................

Having something to prove.

I feel that this is the cause of a lot conflicts. Because some bitch has something to prove.
If we didn't have anything to prove, man, there would be no annoyance and estrangement.

ESPECIALLY GUYS. Guys sometimes feel the need to be the alpha fella in the bunch. Be the loudest, be the coolest, prove that they are the BEST by being the most intense, most "driven" (by driven I might mean obsessed), by putting all their might into doing things.

Stupid egotistical things like seeing who can drink more beer or alcohol(especially in front of girls), are inspired due to the need of the individual to prove something, or to prove himself.
I hate it when people do stupid crazy stuff to prove something. I think its so stupid to pick a cigarette to show that you are the shit. You are badass, in front of your friends and you are one wild thing. WHen their gone, you worry that your momma finds out...or you worry that your other friends find out that about you and decide to ditch you.

Its ok if you pick it up due to compulsive needs or stress, or you just fucking do it cause you fucking wanna do it! Thats alright. Crazy acts should be inspired by fun, not fame. Otherwise, theres a term for it, and the term, is known as "poser".

In little sports matches here and there, we this "having something to prove" thing crop up here and there. Playing in the saturday league thingy, to me, is some chill thing. Its recreational, its for fun, its just for me to get my kicks from playing football on a weekend. That. Is. All. Winning does not really matter to me, I've already won what I really wanted to win in football, so I feel no need to prove to anyone how good am I, or not. Call me complacent, but that is the sports scene in Singapore. After you finish school, if you can get somewhere with what you have studied, its pretty pointless to play sports for a living cause there's not much support, much less future in pursuing it. People will always say "you can play, but have another job too..." Going pro, is not such idea here...So yeah, whether I'm complacent or not, honestly, I do not care. It's time to divert my energies elsewhere. With what, that will be revealed in future...maybe.

Back to the saturday thing. Ok the thing is I feel no need to break a leg over winning, cause its a recre thing, and I really don't wanna see anyone, whether its the opponents or my own team mates get injured busting a gut playing in this social thing, or getting injured in some horrendous tackles and shit. But our opponents always seem to think otherwise. They go in with full blooded tackles, sometimes even attempting to injure when they can't get the ball..and I just watch fromt he back thinking,"Wtf? What the hell are they doing? Why they so hard up to win?"

Cause they got something to prove. They trying to prove that they are better than us.

Well some of us DO give a shit, and become all angry and intense like the Hulk, but others, like me, are here for an enjoyable afternoon, so that really does not make the afternoon enjoyable at all.

So proving something, its abosolutely inane at times, so redundant, we could really use less of it! All the warring and fighting, all the stocking up of crazy high tech weapons, it all boils down to the coutnries having to prove. "Hey check me out! I got this ballistic missile that can detroy your whole country and one go! I'm tougher than you bitch!" Its a whole lotta pride and provin'...

So lets put the focus on me. Do I have anything to prove?

Maybe stuff like "Can I sit still for more than 30 seconds?"

"Can I stare at that baby and make it cry or chuckle, just by staring?"

"Can kick that Beng in the knee in this crowded place, and get away with it?"

"Can I run faster than that bouncer after snatching off his shades?"

Yeah, all these extremely important things.

I think I should really start giving a shit to more things apart from my family and some friends...

Feel more attached to things...then maybe I will not be so bored.

Life would be so much more interesting, if I started being compulsive obsessive over smaller things right? Like maybe, the shorts I'm wearing?
I'd kill anyone that disses my shorts or rips a single thread off it.

I'm just sayin'......

.......................................................................

A friend once asked me, "So now what do you think of (certain girls name)?"

"Errrrrrrrrrr...I do not."

Looking At You In The Eyes... Or Box.

2010-09-16T21:54:00.003+08:00

Invigilation.

If find it an extremely fun and rewarding job!
Being the typical jackass I am, its fun to see all the children stressed and worried...head bowed down and writing furiously.

Oh you are still a child if you haven't taken A levels. That is something I established cause surviving A levels is something only adults do. Hence, children! I don't care if you are 19 (and is older than me). I. DON'T. CARE. I have an A level graduate cert and hence, I'm a big fuck, and you are not. :D

So what are the things I do when invigilating? Of course, I would first find people I know and give them stupid grins. I can't help it! So weird. I know these peeps kinda well, and now I'm giving them instructions and everything. THey are ACTUALLY listening to me!!! WOW. Thats a first! Next thing I'd do is of course, being a guy, I would see whether there are any pretty girls around. Shall not comment more on that...later people read and feel threathened by my PRYING EYES and cannot focus cause they feel so scrutinised. Like I might be staring at the big zit on their nose and they would not even know!!!! CAUSE THEY ARE FOCUSING. MUHAHAHAHAHA

After awhile that started to get boring, so I started checking out other stuff! LIKE PEOPLES PENCIL CASES! I would look as though I was looking at their exam scripts, but no! I was looking at pencil cases!

I came to the conclusion that girls have nicer pencil cases than guys. Its true for a lot of things I guess. Guys must always be you know, guyish and can't be caught with "over-flamboyant" accesories cause that would be just gay. And furthermore, being a student in a school surrounded by girls, most of the guys definitely want to be labelled as pansies. Must be macho! Must show off to the girls! (I said most of the guys cause I seriously don't give a fuck. Like seriously! People should see the stuff I do in front of girls...those that I'm not interested in of course HAHAHAHA)

So yeah, for pencil cases we are mostly restricted to like black or dull colours. So boring. And furthermore, guys also don't really give a shit as to how their pencil case looks. Its not something we show off. We show off our mucscles and athletic ability and accesories, especially pencil cases, are things we don't really flaunt.

Back to pencil cases, I saw some really nice ones. I'm so jealous of girls. THEY ACTUALLY GET TO CARRY NICE PENCIL CASES. *meltzxzxmeltzxzxz* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

After that, I started becoming more of an ass. I tried to talk to people doing their papers. By screaming at them! IN MY HEAD. Yes. Like if I actually said the things out in my head, I believe I would be hated for the rest of my life cause I'M SO DAMN ANNOYING.

I would go like,"EH YOU! YOU! YOU! YOU CANNOT GET THE ANSWER! YOU DAMN STUPID! OI! YOU BLOODY STUPID EH! RETARD!" in my head at some poor innocent fella. I mean no harm! What I was trying to do was to see whether the person can actually "feel" my thoughts and actually look up at me! HAHAHAHA. For the record, it never worked. I think I wasn't thinking hard enough. (Or the dude was busy focusing on his paper as HE SHOULD BE)

Of course, there are some priceless expressions on the faces of the candidates. My favourite one is the "EHSHITIAMRUNNINGOUTOFTIME" look. You know? The one where the candidate repeatedly looks up at the clock, mouth agape, and realises he/she is running out of time. OH! SO PRICELESS! Yes, I know I used to have that expression a lot, especially for Math....

Yes. So this is what I think of in invigilation and how I amuse myself. Otherwise its pretty boring. And I sincerely hope no person thats taking a paper that I'm invigilating will ever read this. Otherwise everytime they see me or another invigilator, they would be thinking, "What? Is he checking me out? Or my pencil case?!"

Don't hate me, world! :D

ahhhhh.....hi?

2010-08-19T00:41:00.001+08:00

Yes I know, I know...
I haven't been blogging recently so here's an update for all my fans out there(an people who hate me) that I am still alive and kicking, fortunately or unfortunately for you.

Still gloomy times!
Yes it is.
For some reason, think it could be mood swings, or other various stuff.

Do not worry!

Posting will resume soon!
Promise!

Edmunds Wonderful Words Of Wisdom

2010-07-21T23:53:00.004+08:00

Coined them myself.
Slightly R-rated, maybe.
Depends on your lovely imagination!

................................

Give 4 girls one camera, and they can be happy for a day. Give a guy 4 girls, and he will be happy for a day(at least). Humanity's joy is dependant on cameras.

Men are more easily satisfied than women. Give 22 men a ball, and they can be happy for quite a while. Give a woman 5 new pairs of shoes, she'll still be out shopping for more stuff the next day.

Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus. Lust is intergalactic.

Girls are like peanut butter, fresh out from the fridge. Extremely hard to get the lid off, but once you get to spread it, it tastes, oh, so, good.

Girls don't understand it when guys debate and compare football players. Similarly, we don't understand it when you talk about your nails.

If you are a guy, it's called lying down, doing nothing and being a bum. For girls, its called tanning.

I always felt that the term girl and boyfriend should be relative to age.

1. Boyfriend and girlfriend

2. Manfriend and womanfriend.

3. Unclefriend and auntiefriend.

After all, wouldn't it be weird to see a 45 year old auntie in chinatown go,"I'm meeting my boyfriend later!" and acts cute, if they happened to just start dating...

Unclefriend seems better.

The next period comes in half an hour for guys. For girls its a month.

Why do Singaporeans crave for angmoh partners? Guys go, "I want an angmoh girlfriend" while girls go, "I want an angmoh boyfriend". Can't we all be satisfied with our local community? Wait, nah....

The only thing that's ok for guys to put in their hair is wax. Girls can put butterflies and bees and other insect looking accesories and it is ok.

Guys can't bluff how ugly we are. Girls have make-up.
........................................

One of the hardest statements to reply to, is "WALAO, BO JIO!" and "WALAO, PANGSEH!"

Parents. When they worry, you feel guilty.

As long as many people do it, it is fashionable. Explains why the bengs, who exist in a huge community, wear jeans and slippers.

People tend to think that some clothes are nice when they see models or mannequins donning them. Unfortunately, we are common people, not models. Or mannequins.

I wish my life was as incidental and tyco as the movies. That way, I can consecutively dodge a bullet, jump up just in time to prevent two cars from sandwiching me, roll out of the way of an oncoming trailer, jump off the bride and land nicely on an double decker bus truck....
In real life, I can't even throw a piece of tissue paper accurately into a dustbin from 2 metres out.
FML.

.......................................................

Here's the greatest one:

Follow these, and you will die.

BlEaK

2010-07-15T22:05:00.003+08:00

Eyes opened,
Fell outta bed.
Slipped off,
knocked my head.

Got dressed,
groggily.
I looked,
unsightly.

Tried to shave,
off chin hair.
Missed badly,
blood everywhere.

Thrashed around,
pure agony.
Then she called,
broke up with me.

Hung up,
tried to stop the blood.
Made it worse,
endless flood.

Roof collasped,
I was pinned.
Leg was hanging,
on a skin.

Called for help,
bird flew by.
Dropped a little,
stink-pie.

Mind was left,
crushed and frayed.
After a certain,
fucked up day.

.........................................................

What Spring?

2010-07-07T01:30:00.009+08:00

So this is what the kids are up to nowadays?

Ask me a question, bitch.

EDIT

http://formspring.me/EddymundEdmund

Changed the url ar. There was something weird happening with my account.

yippee I hope someone comes and tries to piss me off HAHAHA

Life is too boring

EDIT

I got 2 very interesting question!

its something like that

Q: Are you naturally such as bastard because you are insecure on the inside?

A: I'm NATURAlly a bastard cause it's my NATURE

Q: I think you're a jerk. You should eat beef jerky! Why are you such an asshole?

A: Nature.

................................

this is too fun!

and give me a while I'm feeling so out of sorts and insecure now...

Now, where's that penknife!

Sobs...The Void In My Heart....

2010-07-05T23:17:00.003+08:00

"I don't need love, all I need is..."

This seems to be the motto for many people in this society.
Or should it be rephrased...they don't need love from the opposite gender(or from the same gender), but something else.
I don't wanna talk about love for pets here, sounds wrong.

Like dudes who seem married to their computer. All they need is DotA, or World Of Warcraft, or Left 4 Dead, what have you in the LAN shops...
They seem married to the computer!
Stuck on that chair all day long, taking just bathroom and meal breaks.
But lets analyse. What if they really DO "date" their lovely comps?
Better than human?
Computers obey you all the time! It's just that they might be slow at times...and lag, but heck, at least they listen!

There's internet! No dearth of girls definitely...the computer allows you to look at multiple girls(dressed or not) at the same time. Cheating really goes out of the window.

The computer can sort of seranade you...play good music that you like...but a real girl may not be able to sing....

However, computers aren't really nice to touch. Especially if you don't like plastic.
You can't touch what's on the screen. Unless you feel some sort of sick gratification from touching THE screen.(I think its kinda stupid and corny like those stupid love shows where the guy and girl "touch" via webcam WTF)

And you can't bring your comp, even if its a laptop, out on a date...like when you're out with a real girl...you can go,"Hi, Meet my girlfriend (insert name here)" *lifts up her hand*, but going, "Hi, meet my girlfriend!"*lifts up laptop case*...THAT just does not cut out...

To be THAT in love with graphics and fake monsters and killing...its so violent...can't there be a peaceful resolution? Why must everything be solved with violence???!!!! *tear rolls down*

Ok.
Computer...loser. So I am pretty much single now with nothing out there in the market, I need a new obsession and preoccupation, to bide time away and (dare I say it), love! Computer and computer games is out for me cause I don't really like tech stuff...not my kinda thing. People can go "Ooooooooo I WANT THAT NEW GADGET ITS SO COOL IT HAS THIS IT HAS THAT BLAH BLAH BLAH" and I will just be contented with whatever technology I have. Give me a Da4 Ge1 Da4 phone and I will still be really happy.

I could date....my bed and bolster!

Lets see... I have company at night...nights ain't lonely...
They won't cheat consciously...and if they sleep with someone else, I can beat them and they will not beat me that. I can employ a curfew, by locking my room door, and let them REFLECT. Eventually they will be back at my side again.
They can't cheat on me, but I can still sleep around elsewhere! Sounds good!

But then, can't bring them out also. I will look like a baby lugging my bolster around.

They don't provide any form of response. If I pick them up, they will just fall down...

Ok ok...bed and bolster...OUT.

Handphone?

Hmmmmm...it's portable! And provides response and connection with the rest of the society! I can listen to music on my handphone too! Nice! Maybe I could date my handphone!

But crap, the connection and voices belong to other people....sounds wrong.

There's no future too. It eventually gets obselete...So handphone gf goes out the window too....

Ok ok....Soccer then? Sounds gay. It's filled with men. And balls. *shudders*
Love, but not THAT kinda love. Obsession, passion, of course...but it's different...

But seriously I see a lot of this. Spurned "love". They will proclaim loud loud, on facebook, twitter, what have you, I don't need love, all I need is my bros/alcohol/computer/DotA/teddy bear/chocolate/music/food/toilet bowl blahblahblah...
Is that for real? So you really love your new thingy as much la? Sure boh?
Heartbroken, sad, just admit la....
Act tough for whaaaaaaaaat.....

But then again, I don't get a proclaimation of being sad to the world. I know la...you want to feel abit of love and get abit of attention...understand.
Not my kind of thing. I rather go out and piss someone off and make someone else sad. I get gratification from this, I'm sorry...It's a very destructive thing I know...
But heck, why would would I wanna destroy myself? I don't deserve to make myself sad, someone else deserves it!DESTROY HIM/HER/IT! HAHAHAHAHA

Of course, I'm not some mad motherfucker that goes around slashing people with a knife. THAT KIND OF BEHAVIOUR, is really gross and deserves death.
(speaking of BEHAVIOUR, got another post on that...maybe)

Ok so. Erm...what should I do?
There's nothing out there for me...no love...just emptiness...that hole in my heart won't be filled...*sobs*...I can't take it anymore....

I could be a kind person an help people out! Children who cannot read, old people who can't walk well...awwwwww....so lovely...

But then its ME.

I'm evil.
Incapable of sensitivity and love.
And kindness too.

I shall stick to the EVIL/VILLAIN plan!
Talked about this before.

Maybe be a hermit. And follow the path of Zen.
Be one with nature.

*Claps hand and goes...
Ooooooooooooooooooooom...
Ooooooooooooooooooooompah looooooooooooompah......
Oooooooooooooooooooooo....
Laaaaaampah laaaaaampahhhhh*

Then I will not want, I will not desire.
I acknowledge my own exsitence and I am my greatest lover.

But no meat!
No killing

Shit.

I'm fucked.

"If
you like this status, I will post something on your wall of what I like
about you. Make this as your status if you want a challenge!"

This is possibly how I'll answer

1. I like it that I like nothing about you.

2. I like how good you look, makes me feel better about myself.

3. I like how special you are, even though you're actually just weird.

4. I like your style, that you don't really have one.

5. I like it that you look like Shrek. I mean, he's quite famous and adorable. Sometimes.

6. I like it that you have no life and wait for me to praise you!

7. I like it that I don't know anything about you...who are you?

just some ideas on how to lose a few friends on facebook...not much harm right?

Hello, My Love

2010-06-19T12:04:00.004+08:00

I am death.
The very end,
it's over.
Light ceases,
eyes shut.
So devoid of hope.

I am Minos.
The judge of
your very soul.
Sins and flaws,
or deepest fears.
Hide them you shall not.

I am the Devil.
Fallen from grace,
and pure blackness.
Misguiding your thoughts,
you lose direction.
You cannot fathom my existence.

I am your Hell.
Your endless torture,
suffer in my presence.
A danger,
you wish to escape.
It's a never ending struggle.

Oh, how things have changed.

Their Vanity

2010-06-18T02:30:00.002+08:00

Expectation, so stifling.
Ideals are disallowed,
drive and ambition, mere lies.
Disbelief in your beliefs,
and no chance for chance.
It's all about order.
Follow and tow the line, darling.

Your opinion, drowned.
Accept theirs, adjust,
it's them you need to pander to.
They decided for the undecided,
choose when you have no choice.
System, society, mindsets.
Fit in, young one.

Act accordingly,
do not disappoint them.
There shall be no deviation.
Indifferent to your difference,
no patience for your persistence.
Shape up, or ship out.
You better mould and change, kid.

Leave if you want,
no loss, really.
Plod on, feel no affection.
All loathe and no love,
detest for you, pest.
Your decision,
face the consequences, boy.

So it's a quiet empty lane,
while they'll cruise ahead.
Wind down, alone.
But it's away from pretty pretences,
respite for lack of respect.
They can't deny you.
This is what you want,
Your direction, desire, ambition.
Have faith and dig deep, fighter.

About My Day

2010-06-17T23:42:00.001+08:00

Today, I was reminded of why I miss school this much.

Just A Little Filler

2010-06-14T02:25:00.002+08:00

We chase misprinted lies
We face the path of time
And yet I fight
And yet I fight
This battle all alone
No one to cry to
No place to call home

My gift of self is raped
My privacy is raked
And yet I find
And yet I find
Repeating in my head
If I can't be my own
I'd feel better dead

More plath sounding shit!
so bleak right?

sigh.
so much intensity and meaning...and look what humans "pamper"(torture) their ears and minds with now? Bie-fuckshit-ber. HAHA

some might have noticed that posts have dried up this month
the reason is that I've been doing some soul searching and finding some direction.

actually no I have just been lazy
HAHAHA

but I do have some findings and revelations(about myself, I think)!

more on these in the coming days.
And weeks.

Might take months.

Oh enjoy the music. The lines above were taken from this AIC song. Nutshell!

I'm An EDZHOLE

2010-05-30T00:20:00.002+08:00

Currently very dissatisfied with a lot of things in life now.
Not material wise though, I must add...

Well leaving all the bullshit aside, I have made a decision.
A very, very important decision.

I have decided to become a full fledged...VILLAIN.
Hell yeah... a bad guy.

In movies, all the bad guys have no good end.
In the real world, that doesn't happen.

Good heart, got no good repayment. I translated that from a chinese idiom, Hao3 Xin1 Mei2 Hao3 Bao4.

Unfortunately, in the real world, the camera's not on you all the time, so that people can feel all your agony and emotions, and the audience can actually sympathise with you.

Nope, in the real world, you are alone bitch.
So people will just see whatever they see. And with that, they make decisions, judgements about you.

So might as well make the most of it. Instead of actually pandering to their sky high expectations of a civilised person, just be the Villain! Its a waste of energy to actually toe the line, and be wonderful, lovely, good all the time, IN FRONT OF THEM. All it takes is one black mark and you're scrambling to redeem yourself. A whole cycle starts again...redemption, struggle...

It's a waste of time and energy and life's too short to be keeping up with everyone's expectations right?
Be the bad guy!

In today's time and age, everything comes with a tag, a condition, a criteria. Acts of goodwill, are rarely taken at face value. It's never just THAT. There must be an ulterior motive.

"Oh, she's being nice to me, she probaby wants something..."
"Why did he do that for me, is something up?"

So TRYING to go down the "right" road, comes with a lot of doubt. After all, in this day and age, theres so much superficiality and acting. There will always be a doubt of your intentions.

Just be the bad guy! They will never be expecting anything good from you. And when you actually do something nice, they might be surprised.
It could also be a form of revenge, cause that act of niceness, would leave them thinking and struggling with themselves for days, causing some sleepless nights.
You win!

And sometimes, good guys don't have good ends, or they get lots of fucked up shit happen to them.
Well if you be the bad guy, and you have a bad end, at least you know you deserved it!
There won't be that resentment, that you didn't deserve this happen to you.
You will not have an identity crisis, cause you are a good guy and believed that you reap what you sow, and it still turns out that shit still happens to you!

Being a villain has benefits too.
You have this aura around you. The aura causes people to stay the fuck away from you.
That means that you will always have a seat in the train, cafeteria...don't need to wait around and remain hungry!

You might have the chance to take over the world someday!
There are so many of you that wanna do that! Team up! Surely villains will win someday!

Being a good guy means that you are more susceptible to be used, taken advantage of! Bad guys bully you! So why not be the bad guy?! Bully them! Or at least you will be left the fuck alone.

So its decided I will be the bad guy!

What name should I adopt?

Hmmmmm...

oh!

EDZHOLE!

NICE

What I Should Do

2010-05-28T14:26:00.002+08:00

Is vanish earlier, you won't need to stand my company.

Is get a vehicle, so you won't have to be within a metre of me on public transportation.

Is not have an opinion, cause mine is wrong.

Is seal my lips, since everything thats comes out of it is a fallacy to you.

Is delete my account, so you can just bitch about me openly without worrying that I will see it.

Is disappear, since my existence is so irksome.

What I COULD/SHOULD do is....

Quit.

My Pleasure!

2010-05-21T00:26:00.002+08:00

pleasure and enjoyment come in many different forms and patterns
each has its own unique thrill and sensation
each also has its different magnitudes and levels too!
here's a breakdown on some of them

"Homely" Pleasure
its the kind of warm fuzzy feeling when you hang out with your family, and do something nice with parents or siblings or cousins or....

Level 1
Watching TV with Mother

Level 2
Having dinner with family

Level 3
Cooking dinner for the family, then sitting down and eating with them.
The sense of accomplishment, must be very rewarding!

Level 4
Paying for my family's holiday to some expensive resort, and cooking dinner for them there!

Sinful Pleasure
I mean the eating kind

Level 1
Eating a slice of chocolate cake

Level 2
Eating that slice along with some other fattening dessert

Level 3
EAting the whole fucking chocolate cake

Level 4
Going to a chocolate buffet, then having a fast food feast with lots of KFC and Macdonalds. And being a bastard by eating it in front of a begger.

"Naughty" Pleasure
the really naughty kind *winkwinks*

Level 1
Peeping at girls in the toilet

Level 2
Recording it on video

Level 3
Sharing it on the internet

Level 4
BLACKMAIL

"ADRENALINE RUSH" Pleasure
the thrill from excitement and danger

Level 1
Playing catching with friends

Level 2
Kicking a mad dog in the ass, and playing catching with it

Level 3
Stealing a policeman's gun, and playing catching with him

Level 4
Steal the gun, shoot the cop, and start a fucking manhunt after yourself. FUN Or WHAT?!

Sadistic Pleasure

Level 1
Throwing a water bomb on someone unsuspecting

Level 2
Throwing a rock at that person. and laughing

Level 3
Killing a man and laughing.

Level 4
Laughing at someone cringing thats while Jonas Brothers

"Masochistic" I love pain Pleasure
joy through self inflicted damage

Level 1
Putting cloth pegs on your ears and nose

Level 2
Blasting music so loud that your ear drums burst

Level 3
Putting your head under the wheel of a lorry

Level 4
Listening to Jonas Brothers yourself

"Some Sort Of" Pleasure
Use your imagination.

Level 1
SELF

Level 2
ASSISTED

Level 3
HOME RUN

LEVEL 4
GROUP

seriously......
wtf am I thinking.

*rolls eyes* at myself
edmund dont lame leh

2010-05-19T23:30:00.002+08:00

Interesting things I've had to worry about before:

1. Will I be alive tomorrow?
2. Who's gonna take care of them when I'm gone?
3. How are we gonna pay for this?

Had other interesting situations and people to worry about
other people, hence I decline to name and list them

And now, on a regular basis, I get people worrying, moaning about what?

things like, "I look like this", "I look like that", "I cant get this", "I cant get that"....

all your "heartbreak", "insecurities"...

open your eyes
wake up your idea

there are people out in this world who worry about SURVIVAL
it shocks you to see individuals who plan to work as a waiter or deliveryboy for long term
you do not understand how they can have no far sightedness, how they can just live each day like that

thing is, these people dont have the choice
they cant choose and hope to excel
circumstances bound them that they are stuck in this mediocrity

whine.
whine?

give me a break

A Tall Order

2010-05-16T13:08:00.003+08:00

"Wa why you so tall..."
"Wa you damn tall leh!"

2 lines I get a lot.
its also standard procedure for the adults to make a joke about it every year during chinese new year
for example, when I walk past a ceiling fan, they would go, "be careful! later your head get chop off!'
adults and their sense of humour...

I am a tall boy.(BOY OK! BOY! Not MAN)
Not a giraffe.
Or big foot.
Or a giant.
Or the eiffel tower.

and somehow people always seem to think that I keep growing.
especially if I havent met them in awhile
"Edmund, have you grown again? Why everytime I see you, you seem to be growing taller and taller??!?!",My godsis said this

no! its just that I'm probably the tallest person you know, so each time you see me, you are so overwhelmed and spellbound that you are amazed, giving the illusion of increased height and presence.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
power right my analysis

I like being tall.
there are some benefits. many actually

First up, it gives the impression that I'm a rather big entity.
Big boys, tend to be hungry boys.
As a result, food vendors are more compassionate!
They would go,"Come I give you abit more rice. A big boy like you sure need to eat a lot right!'
:D Hurray for extra rice!

It gives me an excuse to be gluttonous too.
Eating excessively is understandable. Especially more because I'm rather slim
Idiots will just think that the food takes a longer time to reach my stomach, cause it will take a longer while to travel down my apparently long body. That will result in me feeling hungry for a longer time.

I am a boy, not a snake.
The food slithers down in the same time as everybody else.

But oh well, I love to eat, so its ok!

Being tall also means I can be fatter and put on more weight!
EAT ONLY LA SIA!

Also, when other shorter entities are subjected to sniffing other men's armpits in the MRT, I get fresh air, right above them! You can smell my armpit while you are at it!
Fresh air for the win!

It has an "overwhelming effect" on people. Like kids.
They tend to look at me like,"Whoa what is this thing..."
One things for sure, they wont fuck around with me!
Its a good deterrent to AhBengs and Mats too.
They stare stare stare stare from far...but when I walk nearer they tend to look away.
Can imagine them saying,"Knn this guy tall sia!"
And when they try to stare stare when I get nearer, they have to crane their necks to look up.
Not cool...not cool at all...
I can spit on the top of their heads if I want to.
That will be funny as hell!

And if they like wanna bang shoulder with me...bang what shoulder?
Use their shoulder bang my elbow?!?!

Oh its a great deterrent for impatient annoying people that walk too near behind me..like trying to "overtake while walking", or cut queue
I just have to spin around.
Feel my shoulder ram your jaw bitch!
This has happened a lot of times HAHAHAHA

I have had idiots running into my shoulder also
Apparently they overestimated my height and thought they could run under my armpit, and underestimated the width of my body.
Idiots

Helps in sports too!
Especially the one I play and the position I play in

i dont have to stand on a chair to reach seemingly high places to taje something
I dont need the pole to hang up the clothes, just jump!
HAHAHA

It "gives me a better angle when I want to look down on something"
Abstract right? ask ne yourself to find out what I mean...HAHA

It does have its downsides though...
Some T shirts are too short for me...
Also, the SBS bus leg room is too little!
ARGH
Especially if I sit on the inside
My leg goes numb.
Cannot move ar!

I have banged my head on the bus door a few times too.
Once I banged into the mrt bar.
Apparently the new trains have a lower overhanging bar
Once I was late and I ran into a train...I made it in!
But doing! I hit my head on the bar. The whole train looked at me.
Thank god for my high self esteem and lack of shame. HAHAAHAHHAHA

I cannot raise my hand in my living room or there goes my fingertips.
Ceiling fan...

I cant see things right in front of me that are at my crotch level and below.
Angles angles angles...
Dangerous sia!
Once I was looking far ahead and I didnt see a drain in front of me
Stepped right in!
Thank god for long legs so I could just step right out no problem! HAHAHAHA

But whatever it is, I think the pros outweight the cons!

I dont care if I sound self obsessed or whatever

Are you jealous?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

I'm SURE the world wants to be like me huh...

Ready...Fight!

2010-05-10T22:26:00.002+08:00

confrontation
something people like to avoid, but love to watch.
unless you're some pretentious "peace loving person", who would go,"dont fight leh, come on lets all be friends"

you know what?
fuck that.

let them fight first!
then kiss and make up after that.
dont spoil the show man!

so I've been thinking, what sort of fight or contest would be bloody fun to watch?
who, and what?

one sort of contest would be one thats rather evenly matched, sometimes its even labelled, the "Clash of Titans", when its between 2 apparently powerful entities.
for example, Godzilla vs King Kong, Man U Vs Chelsea, Barcelona vs Real Madrid(in football), Ryu vs Akuma(Street Fighter), Aizen vs Ichigo(For Bleach anime freaks), Naruto vs Sasuke(for Naruto anime freaks)....you get my point.

one brawl I would love to watch is Obama vs Osama
I believe the difference in strength is very slight...(just one alphabet HAHAHA)
instead of waging wars on each other, threathening the lives of soldiers...
why not have a one on one fist fight?
seems more...harmless.
doesnt harm the environment too! with all that bombing and destruction of life...

seeing 2 middle aged men go at each other...AWESOME RIGHT?!
I bet you it will be the FIGHT OF THE CENTURY.

oh by the way I've seen 2 middle aged men fight before.
was playing soccer at this open ground.
and saw the two 50 plus year old men, holding their fists up, boxing style...

the hilarious part was that this guy kept going,"Come ar! Come! Come!"
and at the same time, he was moving backwards...away from his "opponent"
wtf?! tell people to come, and you back off??!?!?!
it got even funnier when we noticed that he was backing into...a lift!
imagine that if they actually kept backing into the lift, and the door closed.
nowhere to run, bitch!

ok enough digressing...

another fight I would like to see is Iron Man vs Ip Man.
both movies were released at the same time!
so which would win?
would some old fashioned kungfu and reflexes beat technology?
he might be able to dodge all those weapons with his reflexes! and perhaps some qigong will shatter the Iron Man suit and break it to smitherens!
or would a simple, well place missile/bullet end the Wing Chun master's life?

evenly matched fights...
what about between women?

I would like to see Angelina Jolie as Lara Croft(Tomb Raider), vs Milla Jovovich as Alice, that Zombie killing chick from the Resident Evil series!
that would be such a great CATFIGHT!
great for the guys!(especially if clothes get torn)
and they botch kick such ass!
WHO WILL WIN?!?!

I would like to see gay people fight each other too! they would be quite evenly matched right?

yeah. How about a Free For All 3 way fight between the Jonas Brothers?
hell yeah! I would imagine them pulling each others hair, scratching each other with their fingernails....and all 3 will end up crying like babies...

andandand...

Justin Bieber vs Hannah Montana!
I hope Hannah wins!
then the world will finally believe me when I say that he's ACTUALLY a girl...

A David vs Goliath kind of fight is rather exciting too! its ok if its still DAMN ONE SIDED.

but....can the minnow, underdog, overcome the odds?

like...Mini Me vs King Kong!
wouldnt it be lovely if he manages to beat King Kong?
well if he dies, its kinda expected...so no worries about that...

or or...after Hannah Montana beats Justin Bieber...
she can face off with Megatron(the evil robot from Transformers)!
yeah she can never beat him he will prolly squash her in one stomp...PRECISELY!
if she wins....maybe by singing one of her songs and makes Megatron go,"my goodnes, all these, songs...so gay...cant take it...gotta kill myself!"

*explodes*

well then, I will give her abit more credit then!(like she cares)

Oh Justin Bieber can fight Megatron too, or King Kong...
that will ensure his extinction.
nice.

lets hope all these happens yeah.

for all I know, people might be imagining me fighting King Kong, Tarzan, Terminator, Bruce Lee, Godzilla, Hercules...all at same time, and all against me.

Well, imagine no more!

I will win! duh...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

(this was all just for fun k. please do not get offended or anything.
I dont have time for you)

Fare Ye Well

2010-05-09T01:15:00.004+08:00

Hello, I've waited here for you, everlong.
Been locked inside your heartshaped box, four weeks.
Can I be your fortune teller?
I'll tell you what I think about you.

Its fun to lose, and to pretend.
But the underneath's no big surprise(to me),
you've made a fool of everyone!
Don't blush! I'm no more Mr Nice Guy!

So let's see how far we've come:
Think I already lost you... think you're already gone...
So can I be your memory?
I came into this world as a reject, anyways...

Living on an endless road...
all I ever wanted was to be with you.
"Whats my age again?"
But there are no boundaries! I don't understand!

I wanted nobody, nobody but you.
But overdid it, had a fit.
The dream? Black hole sun, washed it away.
I just wanna be sedated.

My black magic woman,
I miss you,
and I'm crazy, a little unwell.
You threw all I see into obscurity.

"Turn forever hand in hand,
Give you a whole lotta love."
But its lost, never to be seen.
Bye bye bye, heartbreaker.

.......................................................

yeah this is another poem.
once again I did this using lines of songs from my phone.
set it to random and skippped along, to appropriate songs with lines that could be used.

this one's about heartbreak I think.

wel if anoyone's interested I could give a detailed breakdown of the songs the lines are from...
maybe

Coud've

2010-05-09T00:48:00.003+08:00

And so they said, it would have been special.
A pair so wonderful, lovely, perfect.
Hand in hand, the magic duo.
Two, and just two, two against the world!

A presence, so underwhelming...and comfortable.
Nothing to be afraid of, nor hide.
Shoulder, lap they would rest.
So much silence, but the bliss, echoes.

They ran and ran, and took each other away.
Existence was enough, and a thrill.
"I wanna waste away with you"
Anything would do.

"Wonderful, lovely, perfect", meant to last.
But the meaning was lost, and both are gone.
His presence now ashes in the ground.
The other, nothing, just a shell.

.............................................................

sorry
felt poetic today.

Bleakness

2010-05-05T12:14:00.003+08:00

Straight as an arrow
Defect defect
Not straight, not so straight
Reject reject
Towards anti-social
So dumb so dumb
Standing on the stairs
Cold, cold morning
Ghostly image of fear
Mayday mayday
Gonna leave this region
They'll take me with them

sounds like a Plath poem, no?

nirvana did this cover.
awesome!

"I Fucking, Hate You!"

2010-04-20T21:05:00.002+08:00

Hating someone is a very natural thing.
That person goes againsts you ethos, your beliefs, and is the bane of your existence.
Someone that annoys you so much, that you wish that he/she will disapear, get run over by a truck, chokes to death...the list of painful tortures is endless.

Of course, some people have childish ways of getting back at them.
The act of stepping on their photograph, tearing it, using their picture as a dartboard...feels like you are actually tearing them apart, poking them...
Its a thrilling feeling, albeit a cheap one.

But its too little! Just tearing up their pictures. Mmmmm-Hmmmm! Not enough.

I have even better ways.

For starters, paint your sink with the face of your sworn enemy.

Every morning, you wake up, you gargle, spit on that muh-fucker!
"Take that bitch! Thats the smell of overnight breath! And overnight spit! Fuck face..."

If he's your boss, and you meet him at work, you will feel this sense of gratification everytime you see him, and even take a bit of joy when he fucks with YOUR life.

"Hey you, why the hell did you not finish this! blahblah blah...you are the worst employee ever...."
He could be screwing around with you, scolding you upside down left right, but inside, you would know,"I gargled and spat on you, asshole..."

Won't that inspire an incredible sense of gratification, or a great form of relief/release?

It can get even better!

How about a towel, with the enemy's face printed on it!

I could go,"Wipe my balls with your face bitch...yeah armpits too!'

AWESOME!

Or on your underwear.

You will know that that jackass, is holding your balls up.

You have their face as targets in the toilet bowl. Shitting on them, peeing on them...hell yeah!

But know how to draw the line.

All the suggestions up there?

USE ONE ONLY.
Using all is psycho, insanely obsessive. Freaky. You might be mistaken to be in love with the fella.
We wouldnt want that, would we?

There are places where you want that fuck face's picture to be at.

Like, your pillow. Especially if you are the kind that likes to sink your face into the pillow. Face first. And drool all over it. Sure, drooling on them is ok..but like kissing and slurping his face? No. No. No!

And on your wife's underwear.

Imagine getting in the mood...making out all that shit...
But when you start to get naked, you see that dudes face.
On each of her bra cups.

Worse, a tattoo on the left butt cheek.

I mean yeah spanking is a huge turn on thing for some people, but with that persons face there it wont be spanking.
Walloping.

Ouch.

Bloody? I dont even wanna think about it.

So lets not go there. The "dirtier" road...

yeah
Don't take it too far, it might backfire.

The towel thing.

Enough.

Truth

2010-04-18T00:29:00.002+08:00

'Twas true back then...I wasn't wrong to think that you DID right?

Have things changed?

From something, very much before, to nothing now?

Or are you just scared?

Has it become that you detest me that much?

hmmmmmm....

so many questions, so little answers

Incoherence.

2010-04-15T23:50:00.004+08:00

Teletubbies are scary.
But so would any cartoon or soft toy.

If they were suddenly standing at the foot of your bed in the middle of the night.

I wanna propose with an onion ring.
My wedding cake would be a pandan cake.
The banquet, at Banquet.
I wanna wear singlet and shorts.
I think it would be special.

No wonder nobody wants me.

People lip-sync
I wanna ear sync.
That is, to pretend that I'm listening to music.
I'll be plugged in but theres no music playing!

I wanna mouth sync too.
I will chew.

But there's nothing inside.

Skin sync will be kinda hard.
Pretending to touch something?
Something like mime-ing...interesting...

Eye sync is impossible.
How do you pretend to see something, when you don't?

Fucktard....

I wonder why "getting your ass kicked" is supposed to be embarassing, humiliating, the most paiseh thing ever...
After all its the meatiest part of your body!
It cant hurt that much!

In my opinion, getting your face kicked is more humiliating.
And painful.
How did that guy reach your face?
You must be kinda short...

So instead of the proverb, "I got my ass kicked!", it should be "I got my face kicked!"

Serenading a girl.
What if the guy can't sing, or sounds like shit?

Therefore, "serenading" is provisional. ONLY IF THE DUDE SINGS WELL.

for the rest of the world, like me, it should be called Torturing.

Cleaning the toilet isn't as bad as it sounds. It is actually quite alright!

Provided they all flush.

I wanna Hamburgle.
Yes, sneak into Carl's Jr at night and steal their burgers.

"You are like a thief..."
"Why?"
"You stole my heart away..."

"Ok bitch you can have it back."(throws on ground)

"The Beatles" sound so cool.
In Singapore we would have "The Cicaks", "The Ka-Zhuas"

Not cool.

"You make me feel so, so special..."

"Oh I'm sorry I made you feel like a tard?(you are a very special boy...)"

or

"You are special to me! (I treat you like a tard)"

I missed you.

:(

Really!

I wanted to shoot to kill but I hit the tree over there.

News today is News.

So News yesterday, should actually be renamed Olds.

We've got boxing. They box each other.
They should invent a contact sport, Kicking, where fighters can only use their legs.
I think it will be funny as hell.

I think they will look like they are doing the Can-Can.

Theres a song, Stop Crying Your Heart Out.

Its so sad.

but

If you actually imagine someone crying until their heart pops out as a tear, or just pops out,its actually qutie funny.

"boohoo..sob..BOOHOO...SOB...BOOO" *SPLAT*

Usually men shout, and women scream.
Its ok when women shout.
Women scream and shout for no rhyme or reason.

But when men scream, something's up. Really.

Complaining, is admitting defeat.

Do something about it!

Kill the guy or something!

You win!

Something is wrong with me today.
I'm typing random thoughts.
Hence the title.

I need help.
I shall find the plumber.
He can take out all the clogged up shit in my head.

Punctuation

2010-04-14T23:16:00.005+08:00

Punctuation is important
not so much in speech, but more so when you text and or talk someone.
it can make a whole lot of difference between sounding engaged, disinterested, or asshole.

h-a-h-a

punctuation can make a big difference with these four alphabets

1. haha
no punctuation, no nothing. imagine is in an msn convo
what it really means is that, "I cant think of anything much to say immediately, and what you said is kinda intersting, here you go, Haha"

2. haha.
fullstop. pretty much means, yeah these two ha's are whatcha gonna get nothing more.
In fact I dont really wanna talk to you much more, so fuck off.

3. haha!
exclamation mark.now what you said might actually be funny. see, it made me exclaim!

4. HAHA
capital letter. now its an outburst. I would imagine the person really putting his hand to cover his mouth and laugh, or look up and laugh with some loud gaffaws.

5. HAHA!
now its really fucking funny! I actually bored to use caps, and added ! to you are really funny hahahahaha.

6.HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
ditto 4, times 10 times

7. HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA!
ditto 5, times 10 times.

ok now I shall write something based on an sms I received, back in February I think. was it Vday?

hmmmmm...I cant remember...

I just remember that it was kinda short, and very impactful.

anyways.....

......................................................................

No. No! No? by Me

I dropped by, messaged Hi.
I waited, and you appeared.
Truth: surprising!
You stood, reeling...
It was not likely.
It should not be,

"Really, no."

Parted ways, went off to play.
I turned, contented. You seemed, delighted.
I walked, smiling...
Was strangely thrilling!
Felt happy, felt fine,
Until that curt, fateful line.

Really, no.

Thought they were lies. Cause I heard otherwise!
Pride, stung. Head was hung...
Wounded and seething,
a sinking feeling.
You said you felt "Something special."
but now, its no longer real?

Really, no!

Invisible I became. Never looked here, or called my name...
Transparent, ignored. A cold war, we "fought".
But to each other we started drifting
back again, like some magnetic thing.
Thoughts induced,
and I feel confused.

Really,no...

Are you just scared? Or do you hate me that bad?
Why not? Why not!
For long, I will be believing
for that one fine day. Still hoping.
One shot, I'll make it worth your while,
hold my hand and we could walk for miles.

Really, no?

Think again, look deep inside.
I could take you, for a crazy ride.

..............................................................................

wow this wasnt easy to write.

just for fun, just for fun....

Falling Asleep

2010-04-11T14:02:00.003+08:00

Curse, the day is long,
But this is where it ends.
Seven or eleven,
I need a ear to lend.

Down in a hole,
its a perfect denial.
Disguise it, hypnotize it,
how much, how much is real?

I'm trapped under ice,
the stress is astounding.
I'd never give in,
But the sickness, is rising.

It's getting harder to breathe.
I'm darkening in vain.
I've got a disease, deep inside.
Never failed to feel... pain.

Waste away with me,
or can you take it all away?
Will I go to a parallel universe?
I wondered day to day.

Closer to the prize at the end of the road,
I sew myself shut.
Steal my warm wind, tired friend.
An end, or new start?

.......................................................

ok so this is a poem.
I think its about a person's dying moments.

I wrote this!
every line, except the last line, is a line from a differnt song from my mp3 player.

it might sound a little awkward, I don't know.

before you call me no-lifer or just plain bored, instead of writing this, I would have gone out/played video games and waste my mind away.

better to have some brain workout, no?

My Hairy Issue

2010-04-05T00:23:00.015+08:00

from what I gather, my hair is a rather interesting thing.

its either people are amazed at how it can stand for hours, or how it can look so symetrical and "neatly messy", or just how it really adds to my whole kiampah, stuck up, arrogant image.

I get reactions from the kids who come down for programmes at work, saying,"how you me your hair ar?" or the more flatering, "your hair is damn cool" which fuels my belief that my hair is a very interesting part of me.

and then my mum happened to be clearing out some drawers. and took a whole bunch of old photographs out. the good ol' times when we still took our pictures and took it to the shop to develop the film.

so I decided to create this post, for memories sake.
and also show how far I've come.
its pretty interesting I must add...
(also for cuteness' sake)

I came out bald. they shaved me.
I has happy, and hairless.

Then came the cap look.
I was wearing this sailor cap everywhere I went. Parents found it cute.
I think so too.
My grandparents and great grand parent started identifying me as the boy with the cap.

and then the hair grew out. it got longer. I had a very straight fringe.
this was me, looking kiampah.
it was evident I had the potential to become kiampah from that young age

during the period, it was a time of experimentation(apparently)
I went for the "out of bed/flyaway hair look"....

the "emo hair" look...

and the decent boy look, side parting!

oh, that was also the time this creature popped into my life

she got bigger, and I happened to grow 2 extra eyes

and then it was how to look like a geek in school, side parting, specs. toady, froggy specs.

that creature had trendier and much nicer hair than mine...

I even had a pigtail!

then the rebellious streak came in...I had a spiky....fringe...

something like centre parting came. wtf?

short cropped hair next. primary 6. this was the last year I looked like that. big changes came. something called PUBERTY hit me. mind you, I grew 15-19 cm in 2 years. (it amazes me how adorable and cute my sister looks in every pic)

Sec one. Change. I dont have much pictures of my time in sec 1, so this will have to suffice. IC PHOTO FTW!

I spiked my hair more....(I'm in yellow if you didnt realise...)

yeah I started looking more like the ME now, the hair and all...

this was almost the END...if you know what I mean...

I came back, alive...actly I was bald inside that ugly headgear

I came back, in style. I think my hair looked better here....

got even more flashy and stylish...prom!

grew my hair out in the damn slack, post O level period...looking very chinky...notice that I'm the only guy in my generation of cousins

I got into jc. for j1, it was pretty much this one...

I went emo/goth for awhile too!

had funny headgear, yet again...

and J2 was a time of experimentation. first, fringe got slightly shorter again...like when I was a kid...

until I totally shaved it off. like some said, lawn mower through my head...

grew it out again! was flat and emo...

and back to spikes...

eventually this! this is me, at the moment!(the title of this post could have been, evolution to a monster)

so yeah, these are changes in hair that took place throughout...
I thought it owuld be interesting to chroniclelise this.

dont know whether people would give a fuck though

hmmmmmmmm.....

well, yet again, this would be fun to keep!

Trim and Fit!

2010-04-02T00:04:00.000+08:00

if I remember correctly, I had a new year's resolution, to actually go out and exercise, and keep fit.

it looks like its dead and buried.
shit.

the thing about me and exercising and working out, is that it is never sustained for more than a month or two.
I'd always think, like other guys,"damn I wanna ge a nicer bod man...time to work out. ok I will do weights, run blah blah blah..."

sadly, I dont have the discipline to keep it up.

it hit me hard when I went jogging with Navin and Shawn, formerly very fat and overweight people. now, they have lost a hell lot of weight. and are fucking fit now.

we went jogging at Bedok reservoir. I thought, "ok I should be able to do this..."

Three quarters through the round, or 3.8 km, I was damn fucking tired...
CANNOT RUN ANYMORE.
shit.

but those 2 formerly obese people, went on to run faster and complete the round, no hassle. Navin even did 2. WTF

then I thought,"I'm fucking unfit! This sucks!"

goodness, I cannot even complete one round, while those 2 formerly fat dudes could!

and somehow, those 2 have the discipline to jog regularly and work out.
while I, just cannot be bothered...

I started thinking, why?
why can they do it, but not I?

I think the answer is simple.
in my whole entire life, I have been slim, underweight, only in the recent years, been of acceptable weight.
I can eat eat eat eat eatx100, and still not put on weight.
I think its quite amazing and interesting.
I can do stuff like eat eat eat and stay on the couch for a few days, and still not put on weight, while others, inflate/swell.
so I think it made kinda take things for granted, cause there was no real need to work out, as I was happy with my "figure" and the way I looked.
heck, there are people who wish to have my size(height, weight, everything)
sure I can be more toned and shit, but you see, there's word called:complacency.

on the other hand, my formerly fat friends, have been throught the discomforts of being fat. they would know.
so, now they work extra hard to ensure that they dont go back to their formerly fat selves.
there is that dear and motivation, cause they worked hard in army and stuff, to get to where they are today.
and looking around my social circle, its kinda true. many of my fitter friends, used to be fat.
apparently, they burned the fat, to become buff.

I didnt have much fat in the past.
I would have burned bone.

I think to beocome fit, I will have to become fat. yippee!
its fun. just eat eat eat eat eat....

and wait.

well it might never happen, the getting fat part, but still, I would enjoy the process!

hahahahaha

but on a serious note, I shall try to run more often!

with those 2!

hopefully, it will last longer than just 2 months...

FattyBoyEddy

damn, thats scary....

The Greatest Love Story Ever Told

2010-03-30T23:05:00.003+08:00

I don't like romantic movies.
let me tell you why

you see, the most romantic story I've ever witnessed/experienced, seen is the story and the lives of my very own MUM AND DAD.

it beats any of that fake stuff in the cinemas

I've always been very fascinated with their stories
its the story of how a freak like me came about and started to exist, and at the same time, I can get to udnerstand the "olden times"
the cool retro thingy. the only thing is that back then, retro wasnt retro, retro was the equivalent of today's pop culture.
I must also add, that the way they behave, their beliefs had a huge impact on me!

ok so, how did they meet?
my dad worked as a prison officer(NOT WARDEN K), where he does he logistic stuff like order food and supplies that keeps the prison running.

my mum worked at this place that provided supplies. she was some clerk.

it so happened that my dad had to order stuff from my mum's place. so he would keep calling, she would keep picking up, and they would converse on the phone, my mum the clerk taking note of my dad's orders. this was the start, the start of the 30 year plus relationship....

the first time they met up, it was at a very interesting place. my dad was working at this rehab place for druggies. my mum went with the van to deliver stuff!
so yeah, the first time they ever met up face to face, was at a drug rehab centre! some prison-like place!
interesting! (Iknowsomewillsay,nowonderyoulooklikesomecrook,Edmund)

then afterwards, they started dating for awhile. at the same time, my dad had a couple of other girlfriends. wow. I think thats cool. cause you cant do it now.
I mean if you do osmething like that now, you will just be labelled a flirt, or jackass, or whatever. when my mum told me that now, its just like, so normal. like it was cool back in the day.

so apparently, my dad eventually chose her, cause she had something special about her. he told me, that she was the only one that stuck with him throughout alot of bullshit, like some goondu, even though it was better to have left.

my mum had her suitors too! dad told me that he fought with his love rival before, like physically. HAHA. something like that la.

and and my maternal grandfather was against their relationship too! he thought of my dad as some bum, a good for nothing...
it would have been easy to think that way I guess. my dad was from a poor family, and lived in some kampong. my grandfather didnt have a proper job, he was some medium doing rituals for people. stuff like that. so yeah he was kinda poor, and had been struggling to make ends meet all his life, doing all sorts of nonsense as peddling movie tickets for gangsters, just to make a dollar or two.
and despite that objection, my mum STILL stood by daddy. its quite amazing, to me at least. really, it seems easier to walk away. I think the rational thing to do is to just not pursue it from the beginning, to recognise the difficulties and all, and just leave each other.

thank god, they were foolish.

my dad also chose my mum in the end. like I said, she was the only one who stood by him through and through. wow, I really admire her...perseverance and dedication.
which is actually in her nature. quite thankful for that too.

you know, my mum strongly objects from me learning how to ride a motorycle. she says that its quite dangerous, and she would worry about me everyday.

then I asked her,"when you rode on daddy's bike, did you feel safe?"

"yes" then she smiled a stupid smile. hahaha

this really shows that the thing they had, and still have for each other is quite special.

and when mum was pregnant, my dad told me he sped around like a maniac on his motorcycle, just to get to work and get home. same thing after she gave birth to me, he would speed around like a maniac.

there were a few incidents where he almost got killed apparently. once at this four way junction, his shoelaces got caught in the motorcycle engine, and he was stuck in the middle of the road, WHILE A LORRY WAS COMING IN HIS DIRECTION. thankfully, he managed to snap shoelaces in time, and get out in time. otherwise, like he said,"sure die la". he has this scar under his chin, gotten from riding too.

so yeah, my dad just didnt care about the rest of the world, and his own life, just to speed around to take care of my mum and I.

yeah I, was the culmination and one of the results of their love story.
as a younger kid, I asked my dad, like, doesnt he wish to me more special, and outstanding in this world? and what is the greatest achievement in this world.

he just said, "I dont have much, but seeing you boy, so big and grown up, is the biggest achievment of my life"

til this day, that line still hits me. it hits me even harder when I actually rememember the shape they were in when I was in hospital. totally broken and worried.

my parents humble background also meant that they didnt expect much from me. as a baby, it was just,"I hope Edmund grows up healthily".
of course, when I turned out to be rather intelligent in primary school, my parents started expecting more.

like my parents also said, they just hope that I would become better and more impressive than they were. which explains their supportive nature. which contributes to my confident nature! HAHA.
I mean they are really supportive folks. even when I got into trouble in school, they wouldnt scold me much, just like tell me off abit. I think they kinda trusted me to grow up in the right way, which I hope I did and am doing...hahaha

they just tell me straight in my face, that I could enter a JC, would have a chance to go university, play soccer, win medals, stuff like that...
a few years ago, all these didnt seem likely at all. after the stroke incident, it was back to square one again: they didnt expect anything much. just for me to be ok.
when I ws tired form studying, they tell me to go rest, dont push it, later I might fall sick again...stuff like that.
so for me to survive 12 years in the education system and be getting somewhere, is qutie some achievment.

when my sister came about in 1996, it was a more comfortable environment I would think. during that time my parents were not sturggling to make ends meet anymore, it was a pretty comfortable life. she had me to take caree of her too! not that I am doing a fantastic job of doing it, but I try ok! hahahaha

and she had to witness the episode of me going to hospital, where sadly, she got kinda neglected and went abit astray...
thank god she's flourishing now!!
she's growing up in the right way too. I remember there was an episode when she got very distant from the family. but it just turns out she was studying hard, to not make my parents worry. good kid! respect!

so now me and my sis are the results of their great love story!
they invested a lot of love in each other and us, I think its only fair that they are happy together now.

they taught me persistence and determination! I mena I gotta try as hard as them to make sure I end up as happy as them! hahaha

they kinda taught me the real values of love. in the past, it used to be more real REAL, you know what I mean. now its so much more on material stuff. how rich you are, how you are going to provide a comfortable life for me..that seems important now. I'm not dissing it, its just the older notion of love seems so much more...meaningful.

I mean my dad had nothing back then! love must have been blind. really! hahahahaha

dad's an inspiration too. how he slogged his ass off to get a comfortable life for us, that's impressive man. really he did it from zilch, from nothing. ok, just an o level cert. he inspires me!

they also taught me to be contented with life too, not to ask for too much. its good to dream and work towards something, but dont DEMAND. I mean damn, they were happy with nothing much, just a roof over their heads, working like mad....but they had each other! from what they tell me, it was enough...

so yeah.
I think my parents love story is the greatest one ever in my life. it concerns me, it created me, so fuck all that bullshit in the cinemas.
it has real meaning towards me, it has the greatest impact on the way I've grown up.
romantic movies? nah. nonsense.

wow this is a long post.

err....sorry to bore y'all
(this is also another post to keep record of life so I wouldnt forget bits and pieces as I grow old. yeah like a diary...)

A Letter

2010-03-28T01:32:00.003+08:00

I'm average.
It's just me.
Not a dude, from
your fantasy.

I'm kinda poor,
got no cash.
Your whims and fancy,
I can't splash.

I walk over,
to pick you up.
Got no car, or
pick-up truck.

I buy you gifts,
from the dollar store,
I can't afford,
anything more.

But they say, it's the
thought that matters.
Would I've a chance,
like the other fellas?

And even when,
I laze away,
I think of you,
everyday.

So when you visit,
in my dreams,
Its a sweet,
beautiful thing.

I've been broken,
I've been damned.
All past efforts,
trashed and canned.

But I won't give up!
Annoying? Stubborn?
I'd prefer to think,
"a little persistent"

What if all blows
up in my face?(again)
Will I just,
give up the chase?

Probably not,
to your horror(?)
But I can't help it.
Obstinate nature.

So darling then,
give me a chance?
Give me your hand,
for one dance!

I might be far,
from being dreamy.
But please girl,
go on a date with me!

...............................................................................

hmmmmm felt kinda fun and random to write...

actually no.
was writing to someone.
but that person probably doesnt read this blog or know the link anyways.
(and so they say)
doesnt really matter
so its pointless now

so.......I guess its ok then
cool to share err...ideas

:D

Game Shows

2010-03-22T20:37:00.006+08:00

I swear there are reality tv shows for everything nowadays
we have singing, losing weight, becoming bitch's best friend, dancing, being a mother, travelling around the world, forming a boyband, even being a porn star!

but Singapore reality tv shows are pretty....lame.
sad to say...

so now there are so many reality tv show/contest for so many various normal stuff!
whats next for the industry?

what else can they have a reality tv show for?

surely they will need ideas
for the future

here are some ideas

1.A Sleeping Channel reality tv show

the contest is to see who wakes up the latest
there will be cameras positioned at the faces of contestants to capture the exact moment of them waking up! I swear that will be a very interesting sight

furthermore, contestants can get creative and start acting like they havent woken up and pretending not to move, since this is a game of who wakes up last!

it'll also be a great cure for insommia! imagine watching someone sleep when you cant sleep
that has to be the most effing boring thing ever

but I swear the waking up part will be one of the most watched shows in in the country!
so interesting!

the show can have various special "games" like sleeping in different conditions, such as open air, in a coffin, blah blah blah
they can have differnt waking up games too, such as seeing who wakes up to having a spider crawling up their leg, or who can sleep like a log with that stupid spider.

or who can sleep with a certain voltage of electric current

I figured, to win, you just have to die.

how convenient.

2. Sneezing Game

Contestants will be required to sneeze as many times as they can in 15 minutes
for extra interest and fun, contestants are given a certain set of tools, varying from week to week.
the key to this game is that contestants cant use these tools for that 15 allocated minutes.

first few weeks they get straightforward "tools" such as pepper, feathers...
however, as the weeks go by, the tools become more interesting, such as toothpicks, fruits, newpapers(?)...
what fun would it be watching them try and make themselves sneeze with all these nonsense!?
they might be doing the weirdest things to their noses, tickling themselves, just imagine!

3. Being a mascot

I find mascots annoying, not cute.
somehow, its an edmund thing.

so thye should make a gameshow, on how to make the most annoying mascot, and how to act like the most annoying one too!
(imightwinthisone)

winners will be judged on who gets the most pushes, shoves, and punches in a shopping mall.

I think all of these ideas could work out! after all, these are all thats left!

...................................................................

it was tempting to say something stupid again.

but after the horrors of before, I shall tread on thicker ice...

lets...not...go....there...again...(shudders)

The Musings

2010-03-20T14:14:00.006+08:00

anyone wants to see a video of me and navin dance? (request there <----------------)

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

..........................................................................

I think its interesting that we have so many names for human private parts, for both genders! ( I dont think I need to list them)

however, fingers are just FINGERS, eyes are just EYES, heart is just HEART.

so unfair...theres no slang for them...
and its not like they're any less important

similarly, we have so many terms(slang) for getting drunk: drunk, wasted, gone, intoxicated, messed up, blah blah blah

but we have only one word for, sober.

......................................................................

Where does all the childish slang come from?

when I sayg childish slang, I mean all the terms like, "Shame shame Babu Shame!", "Good good Orbee good", "Twist!"(when playing catching) etc etc

I'm sure everyone will have something different from their childhood

now I wonder, did the kids actually come up with it themselves? how did it pick up?
did this cool, trendsetter kid use it for the first time and start a whole revolution in the way people speak?
or gasp! did it actually come from the previous generations!? like its been in use for decades and generations!

that would be interesting

If I had my way, these slang should be included in the dictionary! hey, children are the future of the nation, so shouldnt have a say in stuff like these!

and children should be allowed to vote!

................................................................................

someone should invent shirts with some cool and awesome technology that can allow you to input and change the "message" or words on the t shirt.

you will never have to buy another T shirt with messages on them!
and it allows people to be creative.

I think it will be a very and cringe-worthy thing in Singapore.

Remember those "I *heart* my boyfriend/girlfriend shirts"

now if they put that, you know that they really love their partners! (but its even more gross)

and now the message doesnt have to end there! there can be another half to the t shirt, like

"I love my girlfriend...only at night"

you can also let the world know how you are feeling, just like twitter.(bleargh)

"I feel like shit."

"I'm hungry"

wouldnt it be cool, if you set the display as "Hungry for McSpicy" and you walk into the macs and order?
(although the clueless service staff in SG will still ask,"what do you want sir?")

its an awesome tool for people who wanna create an image of themselves
if you wanna seem like permanantly deep, and melancholic, a party girl/guy, a jackass, a geek.

I swear this invention will make going out more interesting

................................................................................

someone told me,"your brain is amazing."

no its not.

theres another A word for it.

altered.

.................................................................................

Should I upload a picture of my baby years?

apparently the ladies dig that

they would go,"ooooooooooooo so cute!" and stuff like that
and start gushing bla bla bla

it garners a lot of attention too
perfect for people looking for it

it screams,"I THINK I WAS DAMN CUTE AND I WANT THE WORLD TO KNOW"
if you upload on facebook

at the moment, I cant imagine me, adorable. edmund, cute, wtf?!
I should find a baby pic to boost my ego too

wait, what if I was never adorable?!?!??!!

shit

..................................................................................

dont you wonder how vulgarities came about?

what if "fuck" could have been a nice word?
or something ordinary?
like if it swopped meanings with "walk"

this are original sentences

"Fuck you"
"I'm fucking tired"

"I walked the dog yesterday"

"I'm walking with your girlfriend now."

what if it swopped around? *shudders*

"walk you."
"I'm walking tired"

sounds weird
for the other 2, swop it yourself!

interestinginteresting

how it could have been oh, so different

...............................................................................

facebook statuses are intersting, sometimes
it gives you an idea of how important a person finds certain things

like if they post somehting like, "I found 10 cents on the floor today!"

wow

sometimes, they just want the world to know what they are doing or did, like its cool or something
its cool if it IS cool(and interesting)
and you actually did something cool

but somehthing like,(example) "Oh I brushed my teeth with Colgate today instead of Darlie!"
or other stuff that happened in your day

wow

now you just seem really lame
is toothpaste THAT importanbt that the world must know?
even better, when people actually reply to the status
like,"I like Colgate too!"

wow

even even more loser when you put a status and you like your own status or reply to yourself

I saw this guy, post something, that he found very interesting and thought provoking
a few hours later, when no one replied, he replied his own status, "please commment! this was really interesting!"

wow

I wished I could reply "nobody cares" to all of these

but I will slowly find my social circle dwindling and dwindling....

CHEEEEEEEE...Cheese pie

2010-03-15T21:41:00.005+08:00

shame on you! (if you're reading this and you had said "I don't read your blog, Edmund.")

act cool only know

=D

.......................................................................

in the mood for looooooooooooooooove again

alright

this is an example, of a love poem, from an established love poet
falling in love....awwwwwwwwwwwwww

Longing by Matthew Arnold

Come to me in my dreams, and then
By day I shall be well again!
For so the night will more than pay
The hopeless longing of the day.

Come, as thou cam'st a thousand times,
A messenger from radiant climes,
And smile on thy new world, and be
As kind to others as to me!

Or, as thou never cam'st in sooth,
Come now, and let me dream it truth,
And part my hair, and kiss my brow,
And say, My love why sufferest thou?

Come to me in my dreams, and then
By day I shall be well again!
For so the night will more than pay
The hopeless longing of the day.

awwwwww so sweet right
the "I long for you, I miss you" thing going on right there

we have that in Singapore also you know!
yeah!
here's the Ah Beng version of a love poem

You Sibei Hot by Chao Ah Beng

I see this girl walk down Bugis Street,
So chio, I want to give her a treat.
That girl is you, your face really very very sweet,
With you this chiobu, I next really time want to meet.

When you walk past, I make that chut chut noise,
I want to buy you present, dinner and toys.
I start to like you, I think for forever.
For ever, ever after, and after ever after.

Wa the more I see you, I think you Sibei hot.
You so hot, I like you really alot alot.
You hotter than Tom Yum Soup, and Korean Hot Pot.
So can you meet me later, at carpark parking lot?

waarh veri tarchin ritex?
i reed rdy my <3 meltx meltx
meltz 2 mani mani piecex

.............................................................

ok time for the heartbreak!
no one likes having their heart broken
unless you are some masochist in some fucked up way.
but lets talk about that next time ok. the idea of masochism.

so, obviously, there are poems for heartbreak!
the "read ready will cry" types.
yeah yeah I read also will cry...
eh wait I'm heartless, so what is there to break?! HAHAHAHAHA

ok ok here's Disappearing Love by this dude called Gary R. Hess (dont ask me, I got it from the internet!)

What happened to our love?
It used to be so bright
Loving, laughing, caring
Then soon caught the night

You were my one and only love
Cared for you too much

Then something happened
And slept with that man
You deceived me
I never felt so desperate

But I try to forgive you now
And try not to think about before
I love you so much
It just hurts to ponder now

Everything I have
Is because of you
Everything I bought
Was because of you

I just love you so much
I'm scared to lose you

Ah Beng oso got heartbreak okkaex!
here's the Ah Beng heartbreak poem

KNN YOU CAN FUCK OFF by Chao Ah Beng

At first I thought our love,
was more than a normal fling.
But how I know actually,
you are such a bitchy thing.

I lurb you such much,
you go find other guys.
Somemore still must tell me,
all those fucking lies.

So now I realise,
you are a real chee bye.
You are so suck,
I don't waste my time to cry.

Cause usually when break,
I will be very sad sad.
But I see your character,
is just so very bad bad.

You this bitch,
should just fuck off.
You so disgusting to me,
I see ready will "cough cough"

I don't want to see you again,
I hope you just die.
If I see you at Bugis Street,
I will chop you make chicken pie.

KNNB,CCB
Forever, I will say goodbye!

awwwww aint he sore about it?

somebody give him some Zam-Buk
(for the sores)

..............................................

love? me?
1 song sums everything up!

Of Bacteria and Bowls

2010-03-11T23:21:00.003+08:00

INSPIRED
...............................................................

I had to air my thoughts on this I'm sorry
even though people said I was weird...can't help it...

ok. hand sanitizer. the Dettol one. it kills germs right? 99.99% apparently. cool!
I think its awesome...

what if you use it on weird stuff...or spray Dettol on stuff...and kills the germs...

like...cockroaches and rats?

they won't be unhygienic anymore right!
so its ok to keep them as pets!

why do people have this prejudice on these "pests"?
if its cause they spread diseases and are dirty, won't Dettol do the trick?

well if you think they just look disgusting, then maybe all it needs is some decoration, like ribbons and hairclips...but lets leave that for later

ok here's an idea to fuck with your heads

spraying Dettol on shit!
isn't that just interesting?
what's gonna happen?
now you have CLEAN SHIT!
theres no more germs, you just killed the toxins/germs that just came out of your body!
what does this mean?
this might mean you can actually touch it!
its clean what, why not?
ok its smelly. then use AIR FRESHENER! or DEODORANT! spray! smells better!

not that I want to actually touch my own shit.
but this is actually interesting!
what if you are stuck in the desert, no food, with nothing but Dettol and Scented Spray.
so if you are really desperate to survive, face it, you really gotta eat your own waste to survive right!?!?!
ok maybe not your own waste, but maybe animal waste? I watched this documentary Man Vs Wild, where this dude threw himself in the jungle with no supplies, nothing but a knife.
he actually ate deer shit to sustain himself! he's weird, but damn, he's fucking cool and tough man!
so, if I were him, and I happened to have Dettol and Scented Spray on me, I would spray then eat la! smart right! its make the experience slightly more enjoyable! you know its germ free, and dosnt smell as bad! HAHAHAHAHA
EVEN BETTER IF ITS FOOD FLAVOURED HAHAHAHAHA

and don't you think this could be an awesome prank?
like, first you do all this, you Dettol, the use Scented Spray, Then Spraypaint, leave it there...you dont have to touch it!
then maybe sprinkle some glitter, add some funky decorations to it, then tell your friend,"Hey man, Happy birthday!"
"what's that?!"
"something special I made for you!"

what if they totally buy it?
if you leave it to dry, and harden in the sun
then afterwards you decorate, and give it to them, WHAT IF THEY BRING IT HOME?!

AND AND
when you spray all these stuff, will flies and all those maggots and disgusting insects actually go near your shit
like I said, its clean shit! so will they actually go and fly around it?! food for thought! HAHAHAHAHA

ok sorry if this induced any vomitting or any disgust.
I must declare that I have no fantasies or anything about eating shit, its just I'm fascinated with Dettol.
I have no desire to taste it, and God will smite whoever that tries to use this prank on me. (doubt anyone is sick enough to do it. I'm not, definitely!)

................................................................................

Bowling. I don't get it. why BOWLing?!
it does not seem to have anything to do with BOWLS! how ironic, bowling balls are so heavy and tough, while BOWLS are so brittle and light!

so why BOWLing? why not ROLLing? since thats what you do with the ball, you roll it.

why do you BOWL the ball?! I dont think the hand shape you make, really looks like a bowl....and anyways when you carry a bowl, you hold it upright, not swing it around like that!
what, are you stupid, the SOUP will SPILL RIGHT!

since its about knocking pins over, why not KNOCKING? or CLATTERING?
"Hey man, I'ma go play some clattering later..."
sounds kinda cool right!

or,"Dude, I'm gonna go KNOCK some pins later, wanna come?"
cool or what sia?! HAHAHAHAHAHA

ok, since its about rolling and knocking, so why not name it RnK?!
like, "Welcome to the 2010 RnK tournament!"

and why does the BOWL, get a sport associated with it?!
while spooning is a sexual act, and the less said about how forking sounds, the better...bowling is a recognised international sport! wtf?!

in my opinion, Bowling was invited by the chinese.
this is how it was created:

One day, there was this noodle hawker in Chinatown. He had amazing unbreakable bowls left to him by his father, as they were made from a solid alloy of gold and steel. His location was also a hot spot for drinkers, who bought a lot of bottles of beer.

One day, the beer drinkers were very rowdy, and started picking a fight with everyone around them. The hawker was so mad, he threw one bowl at the beer bottles on the table, and also rolled one at a ferocious pace to an empty bottle on the ground. With the resounding crashing noise, he managed to get their attention, and break up a potential fight. This was the beginnings of BOWLING! and it was soon developed with a real ball, once humans got smart enough...

see! I have a point right! HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA

so now, I'm going to invent a sport, CHOPSTICKING. actually its just darts, with Chopsticks.

but hey! At least my sport, involves the use of the actual utensil right! not like stupid BOWLing...

KIAMPAH

2010-03-09T21:12:00.002+08:00

Kiampah (adj.)
1. literally means asking for a beating

people have said that I look just like that. Kiampah.
I don't really deny it. being tall, kinda adds to the whole, arrogant, I'mtoocoolforyou so come stick one to my face image.

thankfully, I think I have an attitude that complements it.
If I actually air the thoughts in my head, I can be a really hateful person!

let me elaborate
I have this habit, of thinking of the most obnoxious, hateful answers/remarks in my head. Its a different story whether they actually come out from my mouth, which, to my horror, happens sometimes.

interestingly, I have a bunch of people that come up with very kiampah responses to various people in various situations too!

here's a selection!(of thoughts, and real incidents!)

at Macdonalds, ordering food:
"Hello, can I have a McCheebye...no I meant McChicken."

this really happened to me this year, walking past some credit card salespeople

"Hi, are you a student or in NS?"

"Student."

"Are you in University?'

"No, Sec 4."(walks off)

I wanted to say, "I'm twelve." But that would really fuck with their heads. Sec 4 is slightly more...believable.
She could only manage a,"Wa you very tall ar..."

=D

"Hey look at that stain your shirt!"

"Does it really matter?"

OR

"Why do YOU care?"

at a deparmental store with a friend:
"Hey I think that doesn't really look nice on you y'know"

"That's what YOU think..."

"........"

or

"Does it look like I care what you think?"

...........................................................

these are just some.
if you have noticed, some of these responses are very generic and can be used in many many situations. even EVERY situation!

if you want to be really hated, try answering, "That's what YOU think" for one whole day.

this is how a day might pan out using that for one whole day.

LEaving for school...
"Boy, are you taking a bus to school today?'
"That's what YOU think"
"..............."

In class
"Good morning class, have you done your homework guys?"
"That's what YOU think"
"Get out of class now!"

Outside class, friend walks by
"Hey why you kena sent out of class, never do work ar?"
"That's what YOU think"
"Fuck off..."

Recess, Chicken rice stall
"Boy you want your usual today?"
"That's what YOU think"
*aunties heart breaks*

you see, just replying like this for one whole day, can offend a hell lot of people.
eventually, the world will hate you. lovely.

similarly, if you answer "why do YOU care?", or "Does it really matter?" to all the statements above, people will hate you all the same and feel like punching your face.

thank god I have a bit of self restraint, that these thoughts dont come out.
otherwise,

there goes my social life

Lay back relac

2010-03-07T01:29:00.003+08:00

I feel kinda good.

I've been kinda lazy to blog lately. been happy, despite the erm...loneliness?(I would call it)
usually I must feel a certain kind of cynicism to blog and critic and talk shit.
I'm just contented with life at the moment.

I like matchbox twenty. their stuff makes sense.
here's one. If you're gone, a song that literally means that. dedicated to rob thomas' wife. IF. how it would all be fucked up, IF it happens. HAHA

dont worry peeps. this is just a temporary phase.
my next post will be "How to be very Kiampah"
so, look out for that!

Listen Baby Listen!

2010-03-02T23:01:00.002+08:00

music is an incredible thing.
I think few would disagree.

ok now I would like to share how music affected my life.
I realised something in the nights in hospital.
Music can make you feel like killing yourself, and music can also make you feel like fucking mighty and awesome, ready to take on anything life throws at you.

the nights in hospital weren't easy.
I was lonely, in the foreign environment. so it was kinda scary being alone there.
what I had was my bolster and pillow, which my parents brought from home, which also helped ALOT.(but lets leave that story for another day), and my old MP3 player.

at night there was no sound. maybe some beeping noises from machines here and there, but otherwise, cold and silent. so plugging in wwas an awesome way to pass time. music was an awesome friend. it provided great company.

Gettin Away With Murder by Papa Roach

this song helped me feel tough and strong, to help me get through those nights.

lets take a look why: ~I feel irrational, so confrontational~
this just inspired a mood like, come on man nothings gonna bring me down. fuck you, fear, fuck you pain lets just get this on with and I'm gonna get through this!
just a vey daring, bold, brash kind of attitude.
I liked it. no fear! I can do anything! I'm tough!
it inspired a lot of confidence and coolness too.
and it was great to feel this way before going for the op. it made counting down the days much easier.

however, I had other stuff in my MP3 that I happened to listen to. other stuff, that are not so desirable to listen to. in other words, emo songs.
these songs just made me cry. seriously. and made me think about a lot of unecessary stuff. like all the "what ifs"
what if I dont make it out? then what would happen to my parents? what would be the reaction? would people mourn the loss? what if what if what if...
all these stuff. the songs that sounded more "blue"
this was one of the sogns. The Scientist by Coldplay

~Lets take it back to the start...~ the idea of being able to turn back time and change things. it made me lament.
why did this have to happen? blahblahblah.
now I just brand all of these feelings as unecessary.
when you are ok and there is hope in life, things can get better, why feel all of this, and think, think, think too much?

feeling melancholic then sucked.

so now, I only listen to this kinda, bluer, more melancholic songs when I feel DEFEATED. like, I lost something, there's no getting back. ok fine. Edmundboy, you are allowed to mourn for AWHILE.
you better get back to the Papa Roach mood tomorrow.

back then, I only listened to Coldplay for one night. It was the toughest night there. After that, I was too scared to listen to Coldplay before the op. It was back to Metallica and all the other stuff. Tough, stuff. Bon jovi too. y'know, Bon Jovi can be really inspiring! HAHA

my MP3 also had stupid, pointless stuff. like Tipsy by Chingy.

okay so you are in the club gettin tipsy. SO?!
yeah the song is catchy. it helped to pass time too! definitely.
but whats the point of the song again?
now looking back, this kinda music never value added to life.

sadly, thats the complexion of the whole music industry now.
it all very shallow stuff, pointless...
sure its catchy,listenable. I dont deny, I listen to this kinda stuff now and then too!
just find it rather pointless. hahaha

I like metal and rock for its emotion. songs are written based on muses, issues, emotions, feelings. whether its hate, love, whatever.
at this time and age, love songs are what? just whining about that guys doesnt love me, loves somebody else, I feel pathetic...like I said, WHINING.(*cough*taylorswift*cough*)

and there are other songs, that make no sense, or are just about sex, grinding up a girl in the club, how the girl has a nice round ass...
so? so stupid. so shallow.
who gives a shit whether you boom boom pow or are spinning right round baby right round?
catchy yes. I dont deny. but its incredibly shallow hahaha

think about it.
as an old person, are this the kinda of stuff you would show your grandchildren as OLDIES?! we have nice, meaningful old songs to look at. songs with substance. theres eric clapton, bee gees(the ballads) if you need examples. love songs in the past were sweet, worthy of serenading your love with. there were so many!

now, they are few and far between. worse, when there are okay ones,(ahem Fall For You), the dyed hair chinese population starts belting it out in their nasal voices and bad engrish, ruining it.

Now mainly I just like listening to stuff that makes me kickass enough to deal with life.
why feel so deflated and melancholic? its easier to be defeated that way!

so yeah, this are just some findings on music I have from "experiences"
how music and make a person,
or break a person.

of course, listening to the music you like, no matter what genre it is, can keep you happy. staying happy is good. keep it up!
its your taste, your preference and I accept that.
just...an opinion.

I'm sorry if i kinda dissed your taste in music.
what I just expressed is an opinion. I'm not lying.
if you can't deal with it, you can't deal with reality.

That's not my problem.

BART

2010-03-01T13:11:00.002+08:00

I like examining words.
I like single words, that have a lot of meaning.

I had another revelation recently
I hate something new
I hate the word,"but"

"but" is a spoiler, always.
it can spoil the fun
it can reveal an unsavoury side of a person
it gives false hope
it can be very bad news!

I'm sure, everyone, has had a moment in their life, when "but". would inspire a "fuck life man". or something to that effect.

let's examine the evils of the "but"

BUT as a spoiler(usually the case)

"Boy you can go out later, BUT you gotta be home by nine tonight."
curfews.
aren't they just a pain in the ass?

"Alright peeps I could come meet you guys later, but I can only stay for five minutes."
the lack of company to carry out an activity. that just sucks.

and that leads me to the next use of "but"
BUT can reveal an unsavoury side of a person.
so now you're just gonna give me 5 min of your time?
the fuck you think you are, some superstar?
I'm not good enough for your time? I see...
well I guess its too bad for me then...

"They got me this shirt for my birthday, BUT I think it looks kinda hideous."
ungrateful bitch...

"They got me this shirt for my birthday, BUT I think it looks kinda cheap."
now thats a higher level of "hateful"

"They got me this shirt for my birthday, BUT those people ain't worth my attention."
I loathe you, bitch

yeah. you get the point. revealing an ugly side of a person. that is something a BUT can do.

a BUT giving false hope. this one's interesting.
ok. let me give you the classic case, and example

"yeah, I really like you, BUT I don't wanna go into a relationship right now."
AND THEN, what happens?
feelings die, or someone better comes along. that same old bullshit.
and dude/girl gets disappointed. classic.
false hope? well, dontcha think so?

BUT gives false impressions. it is the favourite word for weasels, who want to soften blows, or reduce the responsibility they have to take when shit goes wrong.

"I pushed him on the road,BUT he pushed me first!"

"The thing broke down, BUT I did my best to fix it!"

all that bullshit.

so, lesson!
the only BUT I like, is the one with double T's.
but they gotta be nice and whole.

Forgetting Tomorrow

2010-02-28T22:46:00.005+08:00

I don't like to whine.

butmyshoulderhurtsandmummywassupposedtobringmetoseethedoctomorrow
butnowsheforgotandhasgottagosomewhereelsetodosomenonsenseandnowihaveto
waittilshehasgottimeagain.
plusigotworkandotherstufftodoandtherearematchescomingupthisweekendand
thereisnoothertimeformetoseethedoctor.

:(

(if you are gonna whine, please whine like this so its easier for people not to read it)

but really.

my shoulder fucking hurts.

*UPDATE UPDATE*

YES AR I'm GONNA BE GETTING TREATMENT! HAHAHAHAHA

never forget never forget!

Songsong

2010-02-27T21:41:00.004+08:00

to the tune of the chorus of Mario's I dont wanna know

~I don't wanna know
If its C or D
Or if my grades damn low,
Cause my heart can't take it anymore
So if I screwed it,
and put up a poor show,
oh Cambridge, I don't wanna know.~

hehe
just for fun.

a stop gap post.
be back with a more solid one when I got the time. and mood.

Jobs, Occupations, Professions.

2010-02-24T22:51:00.006+08:00

sometimes, its easier to be in certain professions than people think.
employers might advertise in the newspapers, "O Level required, Must Be Cheerful and Bubbly, Good Work Attitude, Standard Working Hours blahblahblah..."

but is that what they REALLY need?

well this is my idea of what some jobs REALLY require
these are what they are REALLY looking for when hiring
so, I have come up with my version of newspaper advertisements, that can be put in the classified sections for people looking for employment.

Bouncer

"Looking for assholes.
Must be good at standing beside doors."

Security Guard(Condominiums)

"Must be good at sitting.
Bonus if able to be an asshole."

Security Guard(Schools)

"Looking for invididuals talented with keys and switches."

Masseuse

"Prefably young and sweet looking.
Good with hands.
Bonus if good with mouth too."

Taxi Driver

"Can drive, must be courteous to customers.
But we don't give a shit how you treat pedestrians and motorists."

Cashier

"Must be honest.
Good math is optional.
We have calculators."

Cashier(in the past)

"Looking for geniuses with the abacus."

Fortune Teller

"Having a table is compulsory.
Must be able to sit and say scary things to people."

Salesperson

"Must be able to use the line "May I help you?" in a few different ways.
No. 1 "May I help you?" in an authoritative tone to scare away meddlesome children who probably can't afford the item.
No. 2 "May I help you?" in a sweet, cajoling tone to entice rich looking men to buy more.
No. 3 "May I help you?" to offer help to people who take ages to put something on. Like shoes.
Optional:Ability to seduce."

Child Care Helpers

"Must be able to tolerate high pitched sounds.
Boring individuals are welcome to aid in afternoon naps."

Movie Theatre Usher

"Good with tearing stuff casually.
We do not welcome violent individuals/people with anger management issues.
Or with a phobia of paper."

Fast Food Restaurant

"Gluttons not welcome."

Telephone Operators

"Must not be taken aback by loud shouting, death/violent threats."

Summon Officer

"Must be willing to be hated.
Looking for the qualities of being very neurotic and anal.
And just in case, for your sake, we hope you are able to run fast(from angry mobs)."

Librarian

"Have minimal tolerance for sound.
We like bitches."

Quality Control Officer

"We are looking for neat freaks, who are very critical."

Adult Chatline Operator

"Must be willing to have sex with old men.
Phone sex."

I realised something! Being a factory worker and a prostitute both require the same skill.

You gotta push the right buttons.

yup. thats what I think these jobs require. go for it if you have these qualities!
I can almost be a bouncer. I can be an asshole.(I think)
just that I dont like doors. too bad...

Well if you want to be certain types of people, I can teach you how too!

How to be an Ah Beng

1. Dye your hair.

2. Have a long fringe.

3. Go out with others like you.

How to be an emo person

1. Have a long fringe. (must cover face)

2. Don't dye your hair.

3. Go out alone.

How to be a _ _ _ (I name it. racial sensitivities.)

1. Don't have a long fringe. It doesn't suit you.

2. Wearing a cap will help.

3. Go to a void deck with others like you.

4. Taper whatever you are wearing as your bottoms, be it jeans, school pants...

How to be an Ahpek

1. Wear singlet and boxers

2. Bald slightly.

3. Wear those trademark blue and white slippers.

4. Wrap a "Good Morning" towel around your neck.

5. Go to a void deck.(play chess)

All these are for guysto learn and become like those people in those groups. Girls are more complicated to understand so I shall not comment on them.

If I say something about the female version, there will be a lot of reactions like, "But that doesn't happen al the time...what if..."

they can also look like something, and actually be something else

better to be safe. and shut up.

Laugh. It's Funny!

2010-02-23T00:11:00.001+08:00

ok I don't do this often, but now, I'm going to blog about myself.
yes. be fucking shameless, and start writing things about myself.
this post, will also help people understand me better. and know a little bit of history. ok?

alright here goes

...................................................................

they said, once a man has been through a near death experience, he will change for the better.
like become a very good man, appreciate life, and things around him.
his charactor will become very noble, pure...stuff like that

but in my opinion, half of it is bullshit.

you see, I almost died before. thats what the doctor person said.
here's the story
this is going to be a bit dry so bear with me: one day in july, after watching a movie at home and waiting for the World Cup final to start, a 15 year old boy had a supermassive headache. he started puking like crazy, and then the pain was so bad, he passed out! he went to the hospital, where the doctor told him he had an abnormal blood vessel which ruptured in his head. and he's lucky to be alive. his parents were scared shitless. luckily, with time in hospital, faith, luck, and an operation, he recovered quickly, within the year. and he went back to school. he first went ot changi hospital, where they did some scans. and then he was transferred the same night to Tan Tock Seng Hospital. At TTSH, he went to, ICU,Class C ward, Operating Theatre,ICU, Class C ward, before checking out.

alright, that boy was me!
a fifteen year old.
who had a STROKE. yes. a STROKE. the sort that people would imagine to leave a person paralysed in half the body, the sort that USUALLY, happens to old people!
and this was a fifteen year old me, who suffered from it.

usually, or so they say, having such a near death experience would make you a very good, pure person, who values life, treasures every minute of his life.
I would say it didn't really happen for me.
sure, I appreciated the value of family a lot more, I learnt that one should live without any regrets. but in a different way.

personally, I feel that regretting, is a stupid thing. so I do my best NOT to regret.
so, whatever it is, I would JUST DO FIRST, REGRET LATER. in my opinion, its better to do and regret, than not do, and regret.
if you dont do it, you would go,"fuck, if I had done it, I might have suceeded..."
its better than,"Damn, I shouldn't have done it..."
why? cause when you do actually do something, you can go,"whats done is done"
when you don't, that's it! you have lost the opportunity!

ok moving on

what my stroke episode taught me was, Everything, can be ironic. Everything, has a funny side to it. If you find that funny side, life is less painful and more bearable. For me at least. even in the shittiest, most fucked up circumstances, something is bound to be ironic, and funny!

why do I say that? from personal experience!

the day I first admitted into hospital, apparently, this happened in school(my friend related it to me).
my teacher announced it to the class, that I am in hospital. I had a stroke.

so what was the initial reaction? people laughed! no one took it seriously.
why did they laugh? its hilarious! who would believe, that something like this, would happen to a perfectly fine person like me?
of course, they got more worried as the gravity of the situation eventually hit them...but still, isnt it hilarious?

when my good senior friends heard it too, they laughed!

"Eh, Edmund kena stroke."
"HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA"

initially, I was thinking,"wtf...I'm here, with half my life left, and they were laughing?"
but as I thought more about it, it was actually funny. blood vessel, popping in your head. like a balloon. not funny? 15 year old, suffering from it. not funny? 15 year old, stuck in a room full of old people with mental problems. nor funny? ITS ALL FREAKING HILARIOUS I TELL YOU.

from that moment onwards, I started to see irony and comedy in a lot of things.

like when I came back to remove the staples in my head. you see, they had to cut my head open, saw the bone open, remove the bone, remove the blood vessel, put the bone back, screw it together with some metal plates, and then staple the skin together.

when I went back to remove the staple, the nurse asked me to do one simple thing: count the number of staple with her.
I said,"ok!"
so the counting started...
"1...2...3....4....8....10..."(I was like, wow, 10. thats a lot! but there should be slightly more. quite a big op yknow...)

"10...11...15....20..."(ok thats 20, shouldn't be many more right?)

"20....21...25...30..."(oooo. thiry. thats a hell lot. please please stop soon!)

"30....36....40....45....50...."(HALF OF A HUNDRED STAPLES?! wow, my head is biiiiig...)

"51...52...53...54...58...60!"(sixty staples! wow thats...a lot...)

I breathed a sigh of relief. but it was fucked up. the nurse seemed to have some sadistic fun in removing the staples. asking me to count. its fucking 60! I thought counting meant that it wasnt a lot, so I wouldn't be so scared. but frigging sixty staples! holy cow! that can staple like...a lot of pieces of paper together!

but then again, looking back, 60 staples! thats funny too!
the sadistic counting part, I mean, imagine hearing the boy counting staples off his head, that is actually funny in a very morbid way.
I told my parent after I came out,"the nurse made me count like it was a very fun thing to do..."
and the counting was in between *ouches*, cause some were harder to pull out...

and not to mention, I was laughing at this old man in the opposite bed, when I was warded.
he was tied to the bed, and kept calling,"missy..missy! PANG JIO(pee)"
he needed to pee, obviously. but he had this tube thingy connected to his weiner that would drain out all the pee in his system. he didnt know, nor did he understand when the nurse tried to explain to him. and he was sort of tied to the bed, his hands were. that was to prevent him from climbing out of the bed. he might fall and hurt himself. plus he had a neck cast. he was prolly hurt there or something. so his neck was immobile.

so what did he do? he kept sitting upright, 90 degrees, shouting,"Missy...doctor...pang jio arrrrrr....", then with a final "Argh!" he would fall back down on the bed.
he kept doing it after awhile. and I was bored in bed, unable to sleep because of the ruckus he was creating. just...looking at him. and he kept doing it again, and agian, and again.
thats when I started...counting. It seemed like he was doing sit ups!
he did a grand total of 27 modified sit ups. very good for an old man! and I laughed. cause its funny!

I know some people who will go,"wa this guy is such a jackass. laughing at this kind of thing. people who need help...what a bastard."
correction, I laugh, cause certain situations are really funny! people know its funny, they just feel guilty laughing at them. cause a certain moral in them tells them its wrong. its not as if I didnt try to help the old man. I called the nurse for him, stuff like that. but at that moment, that scene, it was just...interesting! I didn't burst out laughing of course. I just thought it in my head, and smiled to myself, a little chuckle or two...

so yeah. thats one thing that changed. I started to see things for what it was. especially funny things. even though its bastard to laugh at them that way, but its still funny! kids and babies laugh when they see people fall down and hurt themselves. cause its comical! I kinda went back to that. I didn't feel guilty laughing or thinking it was funny, just because, it was politically wrong to feel that way. of course, I dont laugh in people's face, thats just rude. I will laugh...secretly.

Also, I learnt to say things as it was. Why bother to wrap up a statement with pretty ribbons and decorations? just say it as it is la!

example. theres a pile of shit on the floor. I would say,"fuck,there's a pile of shit on the floor there. motherfucking creature. anyhow shit."

some people would try to be more socially gracious, politically correct and pleasant, and say something like,"hey that's a bunch of excretion on the pavement right there. its a very irresponsible thing to do, but hopefully the culprit will not to the same thing in the future. and certainly, I dont think there are many responsible people in our society who will not do the same thing again..."

if you're mad, show it!

hey, before you all think I'm mentally disturbed, and I am some asshole, I helped and made friends with people in hospital ok!
I made friends with this guy beside my bunk, who was around late twenties or thirty years old. he was in a rather pitiful state, I think he was paralysed or something, and he needed pillows to cushion his body, otherwise he would be in some sort of discomfort or pain. but he was a really adorable chap. really. the nurses were really sweet and nice, and while feeding him water, she sang him a song. cant remember what it was though. she asked him,"you know this song?" and this was one of the most poignant moments in my life...he sang the next line! and they were singing line after line...he was enjoying it! and eventually, he sang,"I want to drink water!"to the tune of the song! HAHAHAHAHA

yeah he liked to drink water. he was a thirsty boy/man. he was an adult, but his behaviour was similar to that of a child. he just felt whatever he wanted to feel, and just said whatever he wanted to say!

which was something I took with me also.
I realised that, I should just feel whatever I want to feel. Like I said before, no regrets! If I forced myself not to feel a certain way, thats just shortchanging myself, and I will regret it! life's too short, to let society, or whatever, restrict and alter the way you think and feel. just...be yourself!
this is why I like REAL, REAL people. people who do not put on a pretence, or an image, because of societal pressures. why pretend? lifes too short for that!

another person I laughed at, was this illegal immigrant dude who was in the bed in front of me. he was a troublesome chap! really! he caused a lot of problems.
I overheard that he had no papers, and they just found him unconscious on the streets. that meant he was probably an illegal immigrant.

his name was Rajagopal. I never forgot the name and how he looked like.
skinny moustached man.

he did stuff like struggle with the doctors, kept pulling out his urine bag....
once, he pulled out the pee tube, and spun it around like a lasso! HAHAHAHA. hey, thats funny also right!

yeap, and his pee was splashing all over the place! so there was a huge mess. of course, they cleaned everything up eventually.
he just seemed so amazed by his pee bag! he threw it, he hit it...
I must admit, I was quite fascinated by my own one, when I had it. like, so much in a day! hahahahahaha.

I helped Mr. Rajagopal too! another poignant moment. it was the day before my op.
and he beckoned to me, to helped him pour a glass of water. which I duly did. he was tied to the bed too. to prevent him from getting up.
then I thought to myself, yeah help the man...its good karma. after all, the doctor said theres a 10% chance shit might go wrong. its not much, but theres a possibility!

this are the possible negative impacts: disablement, memory loss, blindness, death.

scary prospects.

I thought, "Raja, will I be glad if I could see you again!" hahahahaha.
I find it ironic. this is a man that has been ostracized, labelled, unwanted, and going to be sent back to his country. but yet, I wouldnt mind being able to see him again. that would mean being alive. being able to think. being able to remember.

thankfully, I survived la.

there was this other dude I talked to also, when I first when to ICU. this middle aged man. apparently, he collasped. felt, strengthless. and then he got admitted to hospital. hahahahaahaha the funny thing was, back then I was very blur and groggy, with some head discomfort. so I kept asking him the same question,"why you kena admitted to hospital(in chinese)?" I was too blur already. mind you, that was a time when a simple beeping noise would cause me to clutch my head an writhe in agony, and I was seeing double, apparently cause the blood vessel was pressing on an optic nerve.

so another thing I learnt was, a la Zombieland, enjoy the little things. APPRECIATE. people dont understand the meaning of that nowadays. to appreciate.
there are some really small things, that the less fortunate would appreciate, that we take for granted. normal people dont appreciate being able to eat, see, run, play soccer...

I almost couldnt play soccer for the rest of my life. that hit me hard. initially, I thought they removed the bone, and didnt put it back, cause sometimes, that happens. I saw a dude without a forehead before. freaky stuff. but he really didnt have the bone there.
so I was scared. that area was like....soft. so I thought they removed it. I was so shattered...
but thankfully, they didnt. it was soft cause it was swollen with some residual fluid. it eventually when away, and my head was nice and hard again.
so now, I'm quite thankful to be able to play soccer. now just play la! shiok. aim to be even better. I was quite determined to make something of my soccer...and goalkeeping skills. Now I just think its funny. so stupid. I cried! just by thinking too much! crying was unnecessary, definitely. my parents were bewildered too! they told me,"you just had a brain operation, and now you are thinking of playing soccer?!!?!?!"

I almost went blind too. thats what they told me. I was seeing double. which was a lucky thing. apparently there was a blood clot, on the nerve, which could have caused blindness. it just caused me to see double, which was lovely when I could see my crush when she visited me back then in twice the amount. See! I found another plus point in times of desperation. Think positive mate!

so yeah. I'm quite thankful for a lot of things. I learnt not to ask for so much from people, from life. its ok to ask a lot from yourself, thats called ambition. but dont blame fate, dont blame those around you. just get over it, and fucking get a move on with life. dont dwell on all the unecessary shit.

this was further put to the test when I went back to school
when I was in hospital, people treated with me with a lot of care, concern. some visited me every other. I thought,"damn...they msut really love me...they are awesome people!"

however, things changed when I went back to school for awhile.
people started bitching about me for some reason, I was getting ostracized, kena bastard a lot...
stuff like that

it hurt, especially when it came from people who I thought cared about me. some said really mean stuff about me. it wasnt nice.
to be honest, I havent realised what the lesson was from these people. I dont wanna think,"People are only caring when they realise that you're almost gone." or "People just want to show others that they are caring" that just..labelling. thats not right. I dont believe in that.

so thats where the previous value, lesson came in. just fuck it, and get on with life. I didnt wanna dwell on it anymore. It just made me unhappy. Just dont care, and move on! that value has helped me a lot along the years.

I had to grit my teeth through the years in sec school too. recovering from the op and coming back to school wasnt easy. there was a lot to catch up. and I got tired easily. mentally or physically, I dont know. maybe I was just lazy after spending all that time in bed. didnt really do well for O levels eventually...but I still got into MJ though! hahahaha. nice.

People call me arrogant right? I call it confidence.

you see, undergoing the op meant that I had to go bald. it left me with a very long scar on the head too. 60 staples mind you! so when I went back to school I wore a beanie thingy, sometimes a cap. It wasnt easy being the only perosn in school wearing that. It was meant to hide the scar. I still think it doesnt look very nice. so that meant that I had to put up with weird looks in school. I was tall, skinny(cause I lost a lot of weight), and wearing weird headgear. looks funny? definitely. but I learnt not to care. Just be me. they can look, so what? I think I'm cool. I'm the only one like that! so thinking that way kinda helped...of course, sometimes I took it off. to let people see, or when it got hot. I didnt care. People said I looked ok bald, so yeah man! I look nice bald! I had a good head shape, that suits botak! the scar, just looked, kinda cool, after you get over the initial shock thingy HAHA.

and of course, I have no shame in saying this.

I AM FUCKING PROUD OF MYSELF THAT I HAVE RECOVERED, TO BE IN THIS OKAY STATE, AND COOLER THAN SO MANY PEOPLE! ITS SUCH A MAJOR FUCKING OP THING, I ALMOST DIED, I SURVIVED, I'M FLOURISHING....MOTHERFUCKING HELLYEAH!HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

seriously, I am damn proud that I can play soccer, run, jump, do everything like a normal person. all thats left of my history, is just the scar, and those metal plates inside the skull. it doesnt affect me anymore.(but im not sure about the mental part. sometimes i think im quite stupid HAHAHAHAHA)

So im summary, these are the aspects I changed in from my hospital episode, lessons I learnt.

1. Do first, regret later. Or don't even bother to regret.

2. Don't dwell on unnecessary bullshit. Emo can. But I better be up and jumping in a few days. Then fuck it, and get on with life.

3. Improved self esteem. I love myself a lot more.

4. Appreciate...err...things.

5. Everything can be funny. Why restrict your own emotions, and think,"Its wrong to laugh." when deep down inside, you know its funny?

6. Dare to love. And hate.

7. Be...err...real. yeah. Why pretend? Isn't pretending tiring? When you cant pretend anymore, wont people detest you for pretending to be something you're not?

alright I dont know whether people will cringe when they read this.
sorry if any of it has been morbid or disturbing or whatever.
just...airing my views.
and also more importantly, writing down the thoughts and reliving the moments.
I might forget more details here and there in the future. so blogging about it means that theres a soft copy of it on the computer, not in the brain.

some of it might be controversial. like, it seems wrong to you. its ok. you are a very, errr...correct and proper person. I respect that.

Things have happened to me that have fucked me up, here and there.
so...I'm quite fucked up.
I don't think I'm like you. You are you. I am..I. I am Edmund.

so....hope its been an interesting read....
at least

or or...at least understand why I have such a different sense of humour.
and why I do or say certain stuff.

maybe

whatever

A Very Dark Post.

2010-02-22T00:30:00.004+08:00

I don't know about you people, but there's this thing about me and imagining how painful dying in certain ways feel like.
its not an emo thing, its just...a fascination.
a real curiosity.

here's an example

when I look down a high rise building and look at the ground below
I'll start thinking,"Hmmmm...what if I fall off..."

How would it feel while falling?

1. Will I be scared shitless?

OR

2. Will it be ironically thrilling? Like, fuck man, I'm supposed to be scared of death, rueing my misfortune and my final moments, but here I am, enjoying the fall, like some fucking GMAX reverse bungee ride.

What will I be thinking of?

1. Nothing, just, fuck! ahhhhh...fuck!! ahhhhhhh...fuck!!(idontwannadieidontwannadieidontwannadie). SPLAT.

OR

2. Thinks of loved ones, like, I love you mum and dad...I love you (blahblahblah)...I wish I could have spend my last moments with you people, saying goodbye, but sorry I couldnt. SPLAT.

OR

3. (thinks of person I hate) Its ok, dying isn't that bad, now you can come back and haunt ________. SO just die, yeah, look forward to dying...that asshole is gonna get it from your spirit. thats the spirit man! (HAHA SO PUNNY!) Come back as a ghost and haunt,haunt, haunt the living hell out of them! SPLAT.

How will it feel when I hit the ground, or when I actually, die?

1. BAM! (floats to heaven....or descends to hell...straightaway)

OR

2. BAM! ARRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHH FUCK THAT HURTS....IS THAT MY RIB CAGE? DID I JUST HEAR MY SKULL CRACK. (dies....)

OR

3. BAM! ugh...I dont feel anything...ugh its getting numb....ugh....I'm getting abit dizzy, am I dying...ugh....I think I'm dying...(gradually vision blurs...and....dies....)

Just, the moment before death. Intriguing! I posted a post on death before, the aftermath of all these. so maybe you could make some cross reference.

you know, I also think about screwed up ways to die.
freak accidents. sometimes. when things get really morbid. and dark.

for example, I would look at my ceiling fan. and start wondering, "That thing kinda looks...deadly. I bet it would kill me. In certain circumstances!"

Scenario 1: I kicked a ball at the fan, fan falls off, chops my head off.
Scenario 2: I jumped to high, and my head got chopped up.

Similar to the falling down building idea, I thought in a similar manner.

How would it feel when my head got chopped off?
the pain part is confusing.
would you feel pain? where? at the neck?

2 possibilities

1. Die straightaway

2. Don't die straightaway

now this is the point where things get confusing, when you dont die straighaway

How would it feel then at that short, short moment before actual death?

1. Argh! I'm in a hell lot of pain! Where's my body! Quick, put it back! I might have a slim chance! (dies)

2. Argh! I'm going to die, but this feels so peculiar! I feel so...light! I lost more weight than I had ever did in my entire life!

3. Argh! Now my funeral is oging to be troublesome. I heard reattachment is kinda troublesome. and expensive.

4. Argh! Wait. I'm flying, I'm flying! (while head sails through the air)

And, dying this way, you are bound to think of very weird things.

Would you go:

1. Stupid ball/Stupid jumping jacks!

2. I hope they dont kick whats left of me.(the head)

3. Shit...I can't stop...bouncing!

hahahaha! dont you think that it would be very funny to be bouncing when you die. as a head? like some stupid ball...just...bouncing.

thats just fucked up! I would go,"damn...can't physics treat me with more respect? I'm a head, not a freaking ball, so I would appreciate it if I dont bounce so much...and roll..."

which brings me to my next idea. what if the person had motion sickness?
that would be a shitty way to die. the person will definitely not enjoy his last, brief moments as a rolling head.

I would think,"Ugh...so giddy...rolling...make it stop! Feel...like...puking! but...no....stomach/body to puke things out!"

that would be a rather screwed up.

of course, there are other lots of interesting ways to die!

like, having a cupboard crush you to death...("Will I really become like roti prata? But at least I will be as busty as those skinny models!")

or, getting strangled to death by a telephone cord...("Damn...should have gotten the cordless one...")

or, somehow swallowing the cordless phone, and choking to death...("Damn...should have stuck to writing letters...")

or, somehow getting a papercut on your neck by a letter and bleeding to death...("Damn...should have lived in a cave and forget about civilisation...")

or, knocking you head on the cave wall, dying of a crushed skull...("THIS CANNOT THAT CANNOT, DIE BETTER LA!")

yeah...stuff like these

lastly, drowning to death!
I will let you people think of possible thoughts going through your head when you die, like what you would think of, how fucked up it would be...

but here's an idea.

if you somehow know you are gonna drown tomorrow, just keep yourself very thirsty for the day!

that makes drowing more enjoyable. like,"yeah I'm thirsty, give me water...wait...too much...wait! no thats enough really, thank you...no..no..now thats too much! *gulpgulpgulpgulp* *sink*

at least you enjoy it, for a while!

ok

they say girls think too much

I think too much too. albeit on these redundant stuff. but still...
does that make me a girl?

shit man.

wait.
(about a date with a guy) girls just think,"wait, am I doing the right thing? what if he doesnt really love me? will it all just fall apart? will we hate each other? but I dont want him to hate me! but what if I dont really love him? will I be hurting his feelings? then will it screw his life over? going on this date will just be leading him on right? but i dont want to be such a villain! I dont want that to happen! omg...what about tomorrow? should I wear this blue dress or black dress? the blue one? what if he doesnt like it, but likes the black one? oh no, what if he doesnt like both? should I go and buy a dress now? what aabout makeup? should I wear some? what if he doesnt like girls with makeup? will he think that I'm fake? then will he lose interest in me? but I dont want him to lose interest in me! I still want to have a chance with him! but what if..."

I dont think THAT much
I just think, stupid stuff.

girls think "important" stuff. or "issues". or "problems"

mine's just..."imagination"

phew

guess I'm alright then

Kids

2010-02-16T21:26:00.005+08:00

damn man I'm getting old.
almost 19!
god damn...I AN UNCLE NOW!
yeah 2 of my cousins have kids.
both are from my paternal side
but their close to 30 go I guess its normal
so...I 've got 2 nieces and 1 nephew. and I learnt to relate and mingle with them during cny.
yeah. kids below 3 years old. I can relate to them.
that also means I'm Uncle Edmund
but I think I make the most childish uncle ever hahaha

one's a few months old, one's close to 1 or 1 year old, the other is 2 plus I think.
not too sure HAHA
whatever it is, they are all babies
yeah
so they are rather...adorable

however, I pity them.
I mean, they get the attention of the whole room!
Would you like it if a room of balding uncles and middle aged aunties started acting cute and going,"ah goo goo ga ga! hair-loh! hair-loh! helloooooo vanessa!(one of my niece's name)"?
on top of that, they make monkey faces close to the babies' faces.
a scary looking face, UP CLOSE.
even I would get scared of that!

adults also dont take hints.
when the babies start crying and running away(2 of them can walk), they will go "ohhh dont scared...." and continue making faces.
and when they start crying, adults will get slightly annoyed, even saying stuff like,"aiya not fun one"
what?! ARE THEY TOYS!? AND YOU BLAME THEM?! 2 year olds!?!!?!

well obviously, as the kids warmed up, they were better and less "emotional".
and when mymum started playing with my niece, who couldnt talk much, that was when I deceided to play with him too. I mean they were not going to do anything like play blackjack or anything right so just...amuse the baby. at the same time, one of my nieces was running around, while my sister sat beside me carrying my few month old niece.

from that "experience" I learnt quite abit about human nature. and growing up.

you see, my nephew, JingYang(i hope he doesnt turn out like the loser one), was a very interesting..."specimen"

he was amused by the smallest things!
for example, when he looked through the glass window panel and saw a car moving, he would point and go,"oooh? like it was the most incredible thing he ever saw.
not just once, but every single time a car came out of the multi storey carpark below.

he doesnt know how to talk yet, so his only way of communication was through funny words and gestures.
at this point, I decided that it was time to teach him some very important life lessons!
at the same moment I saw a can of pringles potato chips
I would teach him the very important lesson of...
OPENING A CAN! (and closing it too)

dont undermine its importance ok!
its a lesson that he has to carry with him for the rest of his life
opening a can of pringles
or basically, the meaning of "open" and "close"

let me show you the importance of the meaning of "open" and "close"
and what if there's a misunderstanding of its meanings
i.e you close when you say "open" and you open when you say "close"

1. "Open your mouth Mummy feed you abalone!"

2. "Close the window its raining!"

3. "When you yawn, you must open your mouth ok!"

4. "Girl ar when you sit down you must close your legs properly k!"

the only time when its ok to misunderstand the meaning is when you are a guy and mummy says,"Boy close your eyes! X rated scene!"(its education)

ok carrying on
thats what I did with my nephew
he slowly learnt to open and close the cap.
and each time he opened it, it was an incredible experience for him. he would go "oh!" and start giggling in his own childish manner.
obviously, everytime he opened it, I said,"yay!" and cheered him on.
thats how kids learn. If I told him to "open" and then show him an angry/disinterested look, that would really fuck up his life! like "you told me to do it and now you're mad at me?!!?!?!"

and it happened a lot of times.
like I said "open" he would grab the pringles can and open it.
upon the command of "close" he would try to fit the cap back on, which he did rather sucessfully.
no matter how many times he did it, he would be very amused. which was rather adorable I must say.

and then, I decided, it was time for a new lesson!
the importance of "throw"
so I gave him my wristband to throw!(showing him the gesture of throwing)
Throwing is a very important lesson for a boy.
Its his fist act of "violent behaviour".
Boys need to be exposed to "violence" a little bit at a time
so throwing stuff was...important. it ensures that he grows up straight. and not a little soft wristed faget.

and these are examples on the importance of understanding the meaning of "throw".
any misunderstanding might result in serious injury.

1. "Throw that grenade now!"

2. "Throw that dogs bone away before it bites you!"

this is the only time misunderstanding it is ok: "throw that bag of money to me cause I'm a robber and I just stole this money so please throw it to me so I can make a clean getaway before the policemen come and catch me!"
its a mouthful, but you get the point...

so yeah he was throwing my wristband around and having a heck of a time doing it.
after that, I gave him a piece of tissue paper.
It was time for Elementary Violence: Lesson 2!
TEARING THE PAPER
so he tore it with gusto.
tearing is important too! like,"hey hurry and tear that very incriminating piece of evidence that might get us into trouble!"

then it was time to reward him with a game!
the simple game of guessing which hand had the sweet.
for children, its the most intriguing game ever!

everytime he got it wrong, he would very bewildered, and exasperated. in his childish manner yet again.
at first it was just a chuckle.
eventually, it became more violent. which was a good sign! he's going to grow up to be a manly man!
yeah he started doing things like laughing and pouncing on me, running straight into me, "headbutting" my chest
hahahahahaha. was quite amusing and cute too.

and from these experiences, like I said, I learnt quite abit about kids. and humans.

Lesson No. 1: The older you grow, the more boring things become.

you see, my little nieces and nephew were amused by every single thing.
my nieces were amazed by COLOURS, which explained why even the few month old one started grabbing the brightest thing on me: ANG PAO(or maybe she's already money faced!)

similarly, JY was amazed by opening and closing stuff, tearing stuff...
If I did that with a person my age, this would happen:

"Dude, open that can of pringles"

"Ok."(opens it)

"Alright. Close it!"

"Huh?"(proceeds to do it anyway"

"Alright bro, open!"

"WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU!"(empties pringle can on my head)

so imagine, everything was a lesson as a kid. now things like these are so basic.
which is why we seek entertainment and even, love and sex.
these are stuff that would interest us!
and as you get older, everything becomes boring.

"honey, wanna have sex tonight?"
"but we've done that 2345623456 times already...can we do something else...like not have sex?"

eventually, everything becomes tiresome and repetitive.
thats when, you are REALLY OLD. Mentally.

Lesson No. 2: We learn through challenges.

true aint it?
if its a breeze, we wont really bother doing it.
even kids learnt thorugh these challenges.
from opening a cap, he would learn to get dressed, then he would learn how to dress to impress, then he would learn how to hit on the ladies....
its a progressive thing!

Lesson No. 3: Growing up is a very complicated process.

it used to be so simple!
eat, sleep, laugh, happy happy.
run around, we get sad if we feel pain, or if we dont get something, or if we're hungry
then we cry
we didnt care who was around when we cried.
cry la nabeh, so what if I'm noisy!

now, cry, must choose location, like on the staircase, on the bed, where nobody sees you.
cry also cannot make sound.
like "BOOO HOOOO HOOOO SNIFF SNIFF. *WAILS LOUDLY*"
now its just,"*dripdripdrip* *sniff* *dripdrip*..."
very minimal sounds.
hmmmm
maybe next time I cry just WAAAAAAAAA!!!! HUHHUHHUH...WAAAAAAAAA!
I might start laughing
and stop crying
NICE!

so yeah
simple things like crying now is so complicated

feeling happy too
when one feels happy, alot of issues might come to mind
"why am I happy? is it right to feel happy? what if its wrong? what if this doesnt last? what if I'm happy now, but I'm gonna be sad for a long long time!"(person gets emo after that)

as a kid, love just meant, this person(mummy and daddy) is the person that cares for me alot, I appreciate it, I can feel their love, so I love them back!
growing old, waaaaa...fucking complicated. so many things to consider. hahahahaha.

yup.
kids.
kinda admire them.
their only responsibility now is to...GROW
growing is definitely not my responsibility now. not vertically anyways.

bridging on 19 means like...its time to become more a of a man, man!
so sian
soon will need to have proper job.
find wife
support family.
plus other annoying stuff like.................rent...

ok to end off this post, here are pictures of the kids!
just...for interests sake.
you kidnap them, I rip your heads off

If I could have done it, I would have named her: Denise!
doesn't the name just suit her! like Denise, come here! I just..feel that way. thats she a Denise. Somehow.

If I could have named him, I would name him: Denephew!
HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA

ok that was lame

2010-02-14T20:44:00.003+08:00

what dya want?

I'm sorry.
I'm clueless.
I wish I knew.

never meant to hurt cha'.

love ya but maybe its not meant to be.
maybe it was never even allowed nor possible.
boy, you're just clueless

2010-02-14T20:22:00.002+08:00

and now she's gone to hate you

nice going man

Ultimate Coolness

2010-02-12T21:52:00.004+08:00

Sitting down in a crowded train and playing Rubik's cube.
A sure-fire way of getting the label: GEEK

Life goes on with...CACTUS?!
WTF?!
I wish my life could go on with Cactus.

Moments

2010-02-12T00:19:00.003+08:00

a certain conversation spurred me to write about this.
I'm sure reading this would make some people a lot more happier...

ok.
I miss part of school
I'm not going to get all mushy and lovey dovey and start naming names
but what I'm going to do, is share some of the funnest, wackiest things that happened in my roller coaster 2 year ride in MJ.(you reading this, sarah, huiming?)

as the stress kicked in, slowly, gradually
small things started to become a whole lot more fun
something like dark humour. works in similar ways.

things that didnt feel so good in the past, felt like sex, during exam periods

one of it, was recess time!
I remember looking forward to recess a lot. and the constant grumbling of "BRIAN I HUNGRY LAAAAAAAAA. EH I HUNGREEEEEEEE" while queueing for food in the canteen.
afterwards, sitting down with the OC was just so darn fun.
JUST FUCKING SITTING DOWN YOU KNOW!
hahahaahah huiming will always be with her chee cheong fun and strawberry milk, sometimes sarah with the same thing also, or with discounted food from the malay stall, and brian and I would usually eat the same thing: food from the stall with the shortest queue. (we were hungry people)

after that, we would just sit down and talk cock.
Makan sessions were rarely a dull experience.
It was always fucking funny!
sometimes, making Sarah out to be some hot blooded sexy slut, while we all pampered her by helping her buy food or drinks...
Huiming would be there telling random, interesting stories. Of course, Brian and I would add a little spice to those stories making it way more hilarious than it actually is.

occasionally, the random bird flies by, causing a lot of distress to Tara(who has an acute phobia of birds. quote,"you can put me beside a tiger, a lion or a shark or whatever, and I won't be as scared as when a stupid common bird flies past!), causing a lot of excitement and laughter at the same time.

clearing up the plates was also always an issue. WHO WAS GOING TO DO IT? everybody was lazy hahahaha. the way Brian and I worked was,"you buy drink, I put back plate". simple enough. but it gets more complicated when others come into the picture. especially the perpetually violent and vulgar Sarah. If she asked me and I said "no" just for fun, she would stick out her middle finger and say,"cheebye". STANDARD. ALWAYS.

of course, we were all last minute people. we would sit in the canteen, rest our butts there til they were damn flat, first bell rings...we sit somemore, saying,"relax la got time. why people go so early and they so kanjiong!"....until the last bell goes....but still we take our time..."got 5 minutes allowance right?!"....5 minutes later..."FUCK KNN EH RUN LA SIA!" then we'll end up rushing up to the location of our lessons.

looking back, all these were actually damn fun!
so recess is definitely something I miss about school.
when being able to concentrate on eating, and doing nothing, felt. so. good!
now whenever I have nothing to do,"KNN I DAMN BORED LEH!"
how things have changed...

another thing that made school fun and bearable was the randomest things we did. just for the heck of bending the rules, and playing a fool.

for example, when wlaking up to class, somehow, all of us will start running. ALL FOUR OF US! just run. and when we ran. it became a race. even though nobody cares who got first. then we'll all just laugh, and Huiming would go,"omg that was damn retarded"(exact quote!)

silly thigns like viv plaiting my hair. and I walked around with it. was a rather interesting and exciting experience also. hahahaha
they would always say,"eh I dare you to go up to class with that"
which I did!

other retardede moments included dancing nobody while sitting on the bench in the canteen, getting caught with my pants down while changing by pauline choy HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA

we had fun with teachers too.
the moment I remember best was the one with Mr. Lim
Brian was asking Mr. Lim, "sir can I do it with this method?"

to which Mr. Lim answered, "No you can't!"
Brian said,"what did you just call me?"
"can't sounds like cunt...so like No, you cunt!)
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
at that moment, it was the most fucking hilarious thing ever.

during exam period, Brian and I started getting cranky.
we were stressed. we needed a form of relaxation.
so what did we do?
We walked very,very,very,very,very,very,very slowly up the ramp to the study benches.
heck, you have no idea how good walking slowly felt!
as he said,"it only feels good cause we know that we should be doing something better with our time. sinful pleasure."
how true!

some PE sessions with the OC was fun too!
frisbee...squash...floorball...
funfun!

I'm sure there are more moments that I have left out, or forgot
pretty sure some people will remind me =D

peace!

Bleagh

2010-02-10T12:26:00.002+08:00

cause dude,
I'm cooler than you ever will be in your entire, fucking, life.

and the only friends you have are those on facebook.
which you add.

aint it sad?

Philosophy

2010-02-08T19:32:00.004+08:00

after having enough of thinking about/missing people/person, I let my mind wander other, more unimportant stuff.

was waiting for a bus when I came up with all of these...

.....................................................................................

"Just" is an amazing word.
It has so many uses and meanings!

yeah yeah I'm sure you all know its basic uses.
now let me expand your horizon, and show you how the word "Just" can make you sound so darn cool. and fuck up another person's life!

Special Use 1: To make yourself seem bloody awesome
Examples

1. "What, that just costs a million bucks?"

2. "He's just the president..."

3. "It's just pain..."

Here, the word "just" has made the individual seem so cool and awesome!
Like,"Damn...nothing fazes this dude man..."
note that "no big deal" can also be added to then end of all of these lines

so now we move on to its next use!
previously, "just" was used to make someone seem damn big.
"just" can also be used to make someone else feel damn small

Example:

1. (looks at another man's crotch) "It's just ten inches?"

2. Its just ninety seven percent that you got?"

3. (looking at man's car) "Thats just a ferrari...'

isnt it amazing? just one word!

on the topic of making others feel small a.k.a being an arrogant stuck up condescending jerk, I also thought of more ways to make people feel really small and insignificant

one of it, is the term, "thats it?"

Example: "You know yesterday, I had such a great day! I went shopping, and bought so many things. I bought this very expensive watch, 2 diamond rings, and a new dress! After that I went to look at this condominium showflat, which was so huge! I think I'm going to buy it soon...Oh did I tell you I met up with Bono from U2 yesterday too..."

"That's it?" (walks away)

another, more annoying method is a simple "and then?"
use it a lot of times, and they will run out of things to say.
THEN, they will feel stupid. Really stupid. And insignificant.

"Hey I had such an awesome day today! I went to shop!"

"And then?"

"I bought lots of things!"

"And then?"

"I went to a condominium showroom!"

"And then?"

"I checked out the house?(doubt/insecurity creeps in)"

"And then?"

"It had nice toilets?(more insecurity)"

"And then?"

"I left?"

"And then?"

"...................."

(walks off)or "That's all?" or "That's it?" (double whammy ftw!)

since the bus was taking a fucking long time to arrive, and I was alone with only my brain as my companion, and I didnt wanna emo about stuff, so I thought even further....about redundant stuff.
such as...acronyms.

ILUMA. I have always been captivated by this name.
I'm sure everyone knows of this mall in bugis
I love the name!
it can mean so many things!

1. I love u, ma! (in a mothers day sort of context)

2. I love u mah Ashley! (as a response to,"why do you do so much for me?)

3. I love ur mother's auntie! (its either this guy has a fetish for old women, or the aunt must have baked some really nice cookies)

4. I love ur mother's angkukueh! (mum must make really nice angkukueh)

5. I loathe u, motherfucking asshole! (really angry!)

yeah thats all for acronyms.
thought of a few lame ones.
but not fit enough to post here

one last thing(once again inspired by Demetri Martin:so search him on youtube!)

everyone talks about positivity.
"Oh you must be more positive! Its a glass half full! Not hald empty!"

ok. fine.

but shouldn't you be more specific about the contents of the glass?
that...can change the whole story.

what if it was a glass half full of shit?

"thats a glass half full of shit man!"
that doesnt sound like positive thinking to me...

"its a half empty shit glass!"
now thats thinking positive!

now when it comes to baby blood, now thats where things get really screwed

if its going TO a baby, then thinking,"thats a half full glass of blood going to the baby!" is positive

if its from, then thinking, "dont ask me why, but at least its half empty!" is positive!

...................................................................................

whats wrong with me?
maybe all I need is a little bit more loooooove
HAHAHAHAHA

Captions

2010-02-06T20:08:00.024+08:00

ordinary things.
with a twist of edmund

this is how i would name these pictures

----- "Blue Cheese To Eat: Ok. For Wearing On Your Feet: NOT Ok." -----------

---------------------------------- "The Terminator Switch" --------------------------------

--------------------------- "Exit Through This, Asshole" -------------------------

------------------------------ "If Only This was A Bomb..." -----------------------------------

--------- "A Full Circle. For Reunion, for Wholeness...Also a Pie Chart For Procrastination" ---------

--------------------------- "Lie Down And Die...Kids " -------------------------

---- "Little Bear, Mama Bear, Papa Bear? No. Its Kid, Secretary Bitch, Boss." ----

Bubble Tear

2010-02-06T18:30:00.001+08:00

highlight of the day: green apple red tea with pearl.

2nd best: drawing with table toppers

the rest: pretty miserable

The Beautiful People

2010-02-02T22:35:00.002+08:00

RULES:
1. Put your iTunes, Windows Media Player, mp3 player, etc. on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS.
4.
5.
6. Have Fun!

IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?
Show Me How To Live - Audioslave

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
Original Prankster - Offspring (seems like i like naughty girls)

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Whatever You Like - Weird Al Yankovich (this must be a rather annoying and obnoxious answer)

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
Creeping Death - Metallica (this sounds a little psycho-killer-ish)

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
Welcome To The Jungle - Guns N Roses (I AM TARZAN)

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
To Be Loved - Papa Roach (i think they left out the word "deserves" at the front)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS?
Dammit- Blink 182 (dammit why they so cool)

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Ace Of Spades - Motorhead (aiya only when playing blackjack la)

WHAT IS 2+2?
Satisfaction - Benny Benassi (FUCK YEAH THATS WHAT YOU GET WITH 2 PLUS 2)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
Walk This Way - Aerosmith (wtf)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Rape Me - Nirvana (i dont mind....HAHAHAHAHA)

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Damage Inc - Metallica (i must cause alot of chaos OR i must have endured a lot of shit)

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Beautiful - Akon (im quite confident of this...)

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Look What You've Done - Jet (see la! who ask you to steal my heart?! HAHAHAHA)

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Getting Away With Murder - Papa Roach (i must be some delinquent shit)

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Under The Bridge - Red Hot Chili Peppers (i would rather really dance under some bridge yknow...)

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Angel of Death - Slayer (HAHAHAHA HOW APT!)

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Superstar - Lupe Fiasco (i must enjoy being one then...)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Rainbow in the Dark - Dio (confusing i guess)

WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
Awake - Godsmack (this makes no sense)

HOW WILL YOU DIE?
Around The World - Red Hot Chili Peppers (fuck! does this mean i am gonna be dismembered into a million pieces?!)

WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?
Praise You - Fatboy Slim (ya i sure did. look at your swollen ego!)

WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
Pretty Fly For A White Guy - Offspring (well yeah it does...)

WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
Hysteria - Muse (i must have some weird ass phobia)

WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?
How You Remind Me - Nickelback

WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?
Y'all Want A Single - Korn (instead of a double cheeseburger? WTF! OH THE HORROR!!!!!!)

DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?
Sad But True - Metallica (HAHAHAHAHA. SHOULD I CRY, OR SHOULD I YAY?!)

IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
Blind - Korn

WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
Use Somebody - Kings Of Leon

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
The Beautiful People - Marilyn Manson

.................................................

so bored, so bored

Freaking, Advertisements

2010-02-01T17:32:00.006+08:00

im a weird dude
my mind works in very weird ways
yes
while every other dude like me thinks about stuff like Dota and Left 4 Dead all the time, or maybe even some porno and other nonsense, i think about...advertisements.
yeeeeeaaaah

freaking, advertisements

when i see an item somewhere, i would think,"hmmmmm what would be another catchy slogan/advertisement for this nonsense thingy?"

and then, i took it a step further!
now i started to think, "damn, what if it took a really fucked up angle, thats so fucking weird... it could be a huge sucess, or a fucking huge catastophe!"

so
to get what i mean, here are some examples

Sanitary Pad
1."ABC Cheapest Pads! Your pocket doesn't have to bleed!"

2."When you bleed, don't lose heart. We soak up, your discharge!"

Earphones
"Even the deaf hear it!"

Condom
"THE LOCKDOM: So safe, you'll need a key!"

Toilet Paper
"Don't worry, we've got your ass covered. And well."

Deodorant
"Smell better than the person beside you!'

Tongkat Ali/Sex Enhancement Pills
"Longer, Better, STRONGER!"

Toilet Cleaning Service
"So good, we flush for you! Also providing wiping services!"

Loanshark
"Ah Huat Finance: Your one-step, no hassle, get rich quick strategy!(for now)"

Medium/Exorcist
"TOP MEDIUMZ: Providing an alternative solution to all of life's problems"

Pacifier
"Finally, they will shut the fuck up"

Porn site
"For all you losers that cant get the real thing"

yup
dont say wtf when you read this
i dont know wtf is wrong with me too

EURO TRAINING EURO TRAINING!

2010-01-30T16:40:00.005+08:00

for guys that wanna work out, this has to be the ultimate video!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

want a chest like that?
you gotta work out like THAT

thanks to shawn for showing me this haha

........................................

oh it was dad's birthday today
YOU ALL BETTER WISH HIM HAPPY BIRTHDAY K
EVEN IF ITS HERE I'LL PASS ON THE MESSAGE

Brain Food

2010-01-26T23:12:00.003+08:00

shawn said,"would you rather a relatively unromantic, but hones, faithful and loving guy, or a very romantic guy, sensitive, but is a fucking fake, and a flirt."

more food for thought...

Well fucked up me, Fucked up you

2010-01-25T12:16:00.002+08:00

sums up life
these 2

The Future Generation of Leaders

2010-01-24T20:28:00.002+08:00

brian and I have been noticing this trend lately

when those people *mat*ahem*beng*ahem* go out in groups, there is a general trend.
we have noticed these trends and also, come up with very logical reasonings behind them!

firstly, they usually hang out in packs of four or five.
they need the numbers to feel tough
alone, they are pretty much useless. really.

now for the more intresting part the members
these are the generic members in the group

1. The Fat Shit
the biggest, fattest guy in the group
usually the ugliest too
he is fat, so people wont really wanna get on the wrong side of this guy
cause you know, being big has a direct relationship with being tough and strong
UNTIl they realise that he is about as fierce as a marshmallow and has a self esteem the size of a pea.
well, the "scary" appearance is enough
just dont bring him near a barbeque pit.
he might melt.(and become rather tasty)

2. The Leader
yeah theres always this guy who walks at the front of the group all the time
he doesnt say ALOT, just barks out decisions
like "come we go eat KFC" when the fat shit is hungry and "eh go arcade" when they are bored or "toilet toilet" when its time for their toilet break and to comb their fringe.
important decisions such as these. really important!
otherwise, they will be stationary and not mobilise from their "headquarters"!(below the block)
usually the best looking guy among them too
im not saying he is good looking
the BEST looking among them
they might be a bunch of really half assed looking oafs.
yeah
usually the one to pick a fight too
cause yknow, being the leader and all, they have an image to keep up...
if some guy fucks around with him, he will pretty much look quite pathetic if he stands there and say,"oh, sorry"
so yeah.
must fight must fight!

3. The Guy That Talks A Lot
this guy usually likes to stick around the leader fella
and TRIES to make alot of wiscracks to make people laugh
he usually ends up making fun of the fat shit(poor fat shit) in a lame way, making the whole crew laugh at him(breaking his already fragile self esteem)
he assumes himself to be the second in "command" too
like the second biggest fuck of the group
but actually he is really the biggest coward
alone, just really skinny and useless
he will talk alot of shit, start shit when he is with his people
but alone, he will simply look down and walk away....(maybe call the fat shit for help)

4. The Little Quiet Boy
this dude,(usually bespectacled) hangs out with them, tries to dress up like them
but ends up looking like a total failure(not that the rest realise)
he hangs out with them because its his best chance of being cool
and being cool nowadays means wearing very small and tight shirts on a skinny body frame, wearing shirts with printed accesories such as printed ties, with skinny black jeans aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd........wait for it................slippers!
yup
so the quiet little boy would usually hang around with them, laugh when they laugh even though its really not funny at all and just do his best to fit in.
poor boy.
really useless in fights too
thats where he stands behind the fat shit.
well, of course before that guy melts....

yup so these are little trends that we noticed
they sure make a dynamic looking group!
just like those ninja groups from naruto!
each with a special trait
well next time you know, to beat them, all you need is some heat, and more people than them

WIN!

How to Love Yourself. And Let The World Know.

2010-01-22T22:09:00.004+08:00

ever read a blogpost that was so disgustingly self centred, and shameless at the same time?
the blogger heaps praise on him/herself, and TRIES to make it discreet and not so obvious they are referring to themselves.
but look dumbass, everyone can see that you love yourself alot
you can pretend like its all natural and normal, but heck, people have eyes to read, and brains to process your bullshit

so err...heres an example of what i mean...

and i shall do it while CONVENIENTLY blogging about my day.
the uber BHB portions will be italicised too!

andandand,at the same time you can learn how to BHB about the smallest things also!

.......................................................

today I had to go to work.
y'know, work...W-O-R-K. work!
I mean usually people hate to work, cause working is usually associated with boredom and repetition.
but for me, its not such a big deal
after all, I have been through tougher times, so working is a piece of cake for me.
its pretty normal!
after all, I have won the A division title with MJC before, so all the trainings and stuff have prepared me for such err..."toughness"
I dont mean to brag, its just a fact!

So I left my house, to board a train to lavender
I mean, usually people would find that a train ride to lavender rather early in the day a pain in the ass. Like so tired, so sian right.
Its not that bad though.
After all I have acheived greater things in life. And I know I'm made for greater things, so whats a little train ride?
Its nothing much right? Even though the train took awhile to come
I'm also not that kinda person to be annoyed at such small stuff, like a long waiting time for the train.
In fact, I think I'm quite broad minded! I look at the bigger picture!
I don't really get put down by such small stuff.
I dont't mean to brag, it's just something good I noticed about myself.
We ought to praise ourselves once in awhile right? :)

So yeah we got off at lavender. oh ya its WE cause I met Jade at Tampines Mrt.
She works with me!
Yup when I found out about the job at WWS, I happened to talk to Jade on msn about working in the holidays too.
Since she was looking for a job, being a good friend I am, I asked her along!
Sarah and Viv also work with us.
I feel like a saint. Sometimes I just cannot believe what a good friend I am too!

We then walked to our workplace. Again, normal people would complain about the distance, but being having trained with a championship winning team, after running a few km every training,walking that distance is nothing really...

At work, I just went about doing my own business. There are tasks that crop randomly up now and then, but nothing fazes me, really. Just do all the shit that they throw at me!
I'm used to it.

Oh oh theres a buggy at our workplace!
We use it to patrol the park nearby and check the conditions of the facilities at the park.
I wanna drive it soon!
I think I will be quite talented at driving, considering I have above average hand eye coordination. Leg-hand coordination too!

Oh oh our society also does stuff like school programmes too!
Kids come over to our place and do presentations and then bring the children out to do CIP programmes like beach clean ups.
Its actually quite fun!
I gave a presentation to the children to let them know more about our society. I even made them laugh at some slides! After all, I have a good sense of humour, no? (winks)

I brought the children out to the beach to do the clean up later. The kids absolutely loved me. I mean, I was very patient and nice to them, of course they would like me right? I always knew that one of my talents was to relate to children. Not that I mean to brag though....

Later on when the children had to leave, they looked at me with that cute expression. That expression that meant that they could not bear to leave me behind. Awwwww.... I can't be that lovable right? hahahaha. I hope I would meet them again though. So adorable!

Yup and they were from my primary school! What a coincidence right! Hahahaha yeah I must have been as adorable as them when I was in primary four too!

That pretty much sums up my day today.
I wish I would have another awesome day like this. I think i deserve to have such special days everyday. After all, I have a nice charactor and all...not that I mean to brag though....

.........................................................

so yeah THAT was how to be utterly shameless and thick skinned to the point of making people cringe and have goosebumps reading your shit.
and also making those same people hate you.

ok ok i concede that yknow, sometimes, maybe just a little, you could praise yourself a little. A LITTLE.
like when you have this QUALITY that you JUST MUST let the world know
i could give that to you
fine.

but i have read posts as shameless as that shit above! brrrrrrrrrr....scary shit.
people like these exist?
holy mothafucker! freaky!

well.
maybe their esteem just needs a big bit of encouragement.

not implying anything!

hehe

ARGH A MONSTER

2010-01-18T22:58:00.005+08:00

Idleness has spawned a monster
a very lame, and retarded monster
it takes over my body once in awhile
and when it does, this happens...

Burst the pimple by DDEmUn

When your face has got all that pus
Getting of it is a must,
Whether meeting a girl, or taking a test
Whatever you're doing, you gotta look your best!

You gotta,
Burst the pimple,
B-burst the pimple!
Burst the pimple,
B-burst the pimple!

When you suddenly feel a twitch,
Theres an undescribable itch.
Whether watering plants, or just running fast
You gotta get rid of that itch on your chest!

You have to,
Scratch your nipple,
Sc-Scratch your nipple!
Scratch your nipple,
Sc-scratch your nipple!

The next time when your tide is high,
You don't need to keep it inside.
Whether you're having lunch, or changing underwear
You must relief yourself of the urge down there!

You really must,
Have a twinkle,
H-have a twinkle!
Have a twinkle,
H-have a twinkle!

No matter if its green or yellow,
If its on your face, you're a dirty fellow.
Whether you're drinking soup, or eating radish,
You ought to get rid, of that blemish!

You gotta,
Burst the pimple,
B-burst the pimple!
Burst the pimple,
B-burst the pimple!

..................................................

it write songs such as these.

EDMUND AND KEN GO TO CARL'S JR

2010-01-17T19:57:00.008+08:00

Once upon a time, 2 friends, Edmund and Ken had decided to go eat Carl's Jr. The thought of that beef patty with all the cheese and all the other toppings was just too tempting and the very idea of savouring all of it was making them weak in the knees. However, it was too late to grab those burgers. It was late into the saturday night, and they were full from dinner that day already. The holy place of burgers was also closed, hence they decided to just enjoy watching a game of football with their female brother Huiming and have some drinks at a certain place called Simpang Bedok.

"Tomorrow Tomorrow
We'll have it tomorrow!
Burgers drinks and fries.
Let's eat away all our sorrow!"

The next fateful day arrived soon enough! "Carl's Jr, here we come!" was the battle cry. However, first, they had a mission! That mission, was to play for a sunday league team called Inner Circle Football Club! THey were just an ameteur team playing for fun in the team. Nothing spectacular. Hence, Edmund and Ken met up at Tampines mrt, and boarded a car driven by a very nice uncle who offered to give them a lift, known only as KOH. The match was at the Chinese Recreation Club, and to Balestier they went!

"Ken in front, Edmund at the rear
We are going to Balestier!"

Upon arrival at the said place, there was one problem. The gate to the toilet was locked! This was a huge problem. They both had to change and Mr.Ken wanted to change his underwear! Crisis!

"Walao the door to the toilet is locked!
Where to change? In the open?
What if the world sees my cock?"

After looking around in vain for an entrance to the toilet in a building beside the field, Edmund looked to his friend, teary eyed, and said,"Ken! We must not give up! We must do this for that Carl's Jr burger!!!" Ken looked back, also with tears in his eyes, and said, "Yes! We will find a way. WE WILL FIND A WAY!!!!!!" To which, Edmund said,"What's that?!" Oh, he had seen an abandoned container! Yes, there was hope! And they trudged to the container to see if it was locked. But alas! It was! However, upon closer inspection, the lock was broken due to rust. So they kicked and hammered away at the door! The door was open! But looking in, they saw that the room was dark and abandoned. What if somebody had been murdered inside there!?

"Eh the room so dark!
If got dead body how?
Or theres a psycho murderer,
We'll be sitting ducks!"

However, for the sake of that Carl's Jr burger, they mustered up the courage to step into the dark room. To their relief, the coast was clear. So they changed into their gear, and got ready for battle! (Edmund waited outside while Ken changed his panties) And so the match started soon after. Lost 2-1. It was all thanks to this certain angmoh fella, who cannot kick a ball to save his life. He is pretty good looking and has a good physique! Just a pity that some people are not very gifted with their feet...

"That angmoh play like some noob!
So what if he has nice moobs?!"

Despite the disappointing result, our dynamic duo was still undeterred in their quest for their beef burgers. Leaving the Chinese Recreation Club, they headed down to the bus stop opposite the place to board bus no.21 to head back to Tampines. Yes, just a bus ride away from our BURGERS!(salivates) But there was a problem. Although there was there was bus service 21 from the side of the Chinese Recreation Club, which headed to St Micheals, there was no bus 21 on the other side of the road! Was this the end of our heroes quest for Carls Jr?

"Fuck! Here got no twenty one!
How to go Tampines,
And get our Buns?!"

Thankfully, Edmund had been in the area before. A certain coach of theirs, called Fabio Da Silva, had brought some of the MJ soccer dudes down to the Singapore Khalsa Association to play small sided matches on the astro turf mini pitches, just beside the CRC. So he had an idea of how to get to another bus stop, which had the bus service 23, which was a faster alternative to head to Tampines. However, it required them to walk through the blistering heat, under the 3 o clock sun to get to the bus stop! Our heroes remained determined, and carried on, fighting the extreme conditions, and also their extreme hunger pangs...

"Argh it's quite far!
Basket, why we got no car?!"

After a surviving the walk, Edmund and Ken finally reached the bus stop. That magical number 23 arrived promptly. Ahoy captain! (waving to the bus driver), they hopped on the slightly crowded bus. It was a fairly pleasant journey, and the both of them starting sharing stories, talking about girls, soccer, people etc etc. It was interesting for Edmund to hear about Ken's stories about NS and funny incidents in camp. Both of them were not having much luck with girls too...

"Met a girl, thought she was grand.
Fell in love, found out first hand.
Went well for a week or two,
then it all, came unglued!"

Suddenly, crisis struck again! The purr of the engine died down, and the bus was crawling at snail's pace. And they were in the middle of an expressway! The driver weaved in and out of traffic into the road shoulder, back into the lanes, then back out onto the road shoulder...Eventually, the bus came to a complete stop! What a disaster! Stuck in the middle on an expressway, miles away from that Carl's Jr outlet, must our heroes change their battle plan, and have something else to eat, like laksa instead of thick BEEF BURGERS?!

"Fuck we're stuck,
we've run of of luck!
Must it take forever,
for us to get that burger?"

Thankfully, another bus came by and stopped on the road sholder. After jostling with many fat people to get out of the bus that "failed", Edmund and Ken managed to get onto the other bus. To Tampines, they were headed, once again!

"Hurry! Uncle, Hurry!
We are very hungry!
Not for bak kwa, not for curry,
but for burgers that are all so tasty!"

Our heroes finally arrived at Tampines after their many trials and tribulations! The burger outlet was in Tampines One. Not two or three, Tampines ONE! The only ONE in Tampines with Carl's Jr. And it ONES us to go grab that burger! And true enough, they arrived at the fast food restaurant! "CARLS JR, WE ARE HERE!", they exclaimed. Looking around at the different burgers, they were spoilt for choice. After much contemplation, Edmund made up his mind. "I will have that Original Thick Burger, Upsized, With Chilli Cheese Fries!" And as he stepped forward to make his order, he had a shocking revelation. The meal costs $14++ while he only had $9!!!!! "Ken, can(haha) borrow money from you first?!" But alas, Ken only had 16 bucks! Enough for his own meal!!!! Was this not to be their day. Ken lent Edmund money for him to make his order first. However, Edmund was not going to let his buddy starve for his sake. With tears in his eyes, he said,"Ken! We've come so far already! We must enjoy that burger together!" Then, choking his tears back, Edmund made a dash to the ATM machine, a few hundred metres away to draw money...

"When you're hungry,
make sure you have money!
Wait, who told me that before?
Oh! It was mummy!"

After making it back with the money, Ken made his order. Yes! They were gonna get it! Their burgers!!!!! They sipped on their drinks first. Jumbo ice lemon tea and Coke! They sipped away with gusto! However...another disaster loomed......hahahahaha just kidding. No more disasters! Their burgers soon arrived, and they relished their burgers. Ken added some jalapenos to his Mushroom Portobello Thickburger to get that extra spice in his sandwich. Edmund liked his the way it was. The chilli cheese fries was also delicious. And so they ate away to their hearts content...

"Wa the burger so shiok,
The cheese fries too, damn nice!
Oh oh, also gotta love that Coke!"

And so, Edmund and Ken succeeded in their quest for their burgers. Soon, they had to part their ways. Ken had to go back to camp. Edmund just went home. As they headed in their different ways, although their hearts were pretty empty, they had the satisfaction of knowing their stomachs were full. (for now)

-------------------------- THE END ---------------------------

if you are gonna blog about your day, you better make it as interesting as this.

I can see I can see I'm going blind

2010-01-16T19:53:00.002+08:00

His eyes his lips
his cute behind
Perfect, he's sweet
nice, charming, kind
You squeal you wail
caught in a bind
You claim you see
you're still so blind
Shells crack and break
a shocking find
Your little God
a freak with no spine.

motha-fucking insanity

Lets Talk About Loooooooove!

2010-01-14T21:50:00.003+08:00

L-O-V-E

its quite a touchy topic, no?
when people start like, hinting they like someone on their blog or something...
people sit up and take notice.
or go,"ooooooooo! whoizzitwhoizzitwhoizzit?'

soooooooomething like that, right?

ok
heres something interesting
i shall use lines from songs, to describe my thoughts and lessons I learnt on love from what I see around me and maybe what I have encountered myself!

1. It takes no time to fall in love. (from Life is Wonderful)

Quite true right? Just ask those that skip from one lover to another in no time.

2. You'll grow to loathe my name, You'll hate me just the same...(from Tornado of Souls by Megadeth)

Happens occasionally after it ends, doesnt it?

3. I'll be your Daddy, your Brother, your lover, and your little boy (from Daddy, Brother, Lover, Little Boy by Mr Big)

Its all about promises isn't it? But when you dont keep them, heh, thats when the shit happens.

4. Cause its a bittersweet symphony...(from Bittersweet Symphony by The Verve)

Full of twists and turns. Highs and lows. Like some symphony right? Two musicians working as a duet. When they dont click, shit happens, and they produce shitty "music", and the people around them get affected, get their ears burned off with all the complaining and wailing. BITTER. When its working out great, everyone is envious, "awwwww arent you sweet together" and both are whispering sweet nothings to each other pleasantly. Sounds nice. SWEET. It can happen at the same time too! BITTERSWEET. HAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

5. Mmmm, so if you want it, gotta bleed for it baby (from Aint Talkin Bout Love by Van Halen)

Sacrifice, sacrifice, sacrifice. Such a vital part of looooooooove. Like when,"I love you baby, thats why I'm going to give you that chicken wing I've been eyeing for so long. My heart bleeds not eating that chicken wing....but its ok!" SACRIFICE!

6. You give me just a taste so I want more and more, Now my hands are bleeding and my knees are raw, Now you've got me crawlin', crawlin' on the floor, And I've never met a girl like you before! (from Never Met a Girl Like You Before by Edwyn Collins)

Ooooooo seduction! Such an integral part of loooooooove. Thats how it can start, how the attraction sparks off something more....more concrete. Like a proper relationship. These lines also chroniclelize the stage when the girl plays hard to get. Just wait. When they are together, the guy would go, "Ya I never met a girl like you before. Not one as fucked up as you before." HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

7. Love is sweet misery. I was cryin' just to get you. Now I'm dyin'cause I let you (from Cryin' by Aerosmith)

This is the "Ouch part" when yknow, it all falls apart, theres heartbreak. It slowly becomes torture, its eating you form the inside and killing you.... and you go, "why the fuck did I like this jackass so much?!'

8. Aw baby please be there, suck my kiss cut me my share! (from Suck My Kiss by Red Hot Chili Peppers)

Hehe. This is yknow, the naughty part of loooooooooove. Naughtynaughty!

9. Everything I do, I do it for you! (title of that Bryan Adams song)

So sweet right. Yeah this is the completely smitten part. But do know that something is wrong with you when you start chewing the persons socks and say, "I'm doing this for you! Its softer and comfier now!"

10. I believe in a thing called love (title of The Darkness's song)
despite my apparent cynicsm, I still believe in it! I mean who doesnt like that nice warm feeling in your chest. It has changed the world definitely. Just look at how humans got AIDS. Love for animals. HAHAAHAHAHAHA KIDDING. and of course all the noble stuff and all the Ghandis and other great people. They had to love to achieve all that shit! i think being in love and having someone is quite a nice feeling too. Just don't find some fucked up person/thing/creature to love. Yup. Just ask my good friend!

yeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaah
L-O-V-E
I love you, you love me

all that stuff
I think I am damn wise
I should be a love guru or something HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA
sure

you wouldnt be stuck in that singlehood shithole if you were eddyboy!
hmmmmm
time to grow up right?

maybe I should use eddyMAN instead of eddyBOY next time.

Farewell/ Skiver Slacker

2010-01-13T23:21:00.003+08:00

went back for MJ's open house today!

going back made me realise one thing:

i'm quite through with this place!

like i've had enough of jc life, whether good or bad
maybe some people cant let it go, i dont know...
but i've had enough of everything
the enthusiasm, school "spirit"
cheers, mass dance...
all the bitching, nonsense, bullshit...
lessons, lectures, teachers, cca...
everything!
i dont even wanna play soccer for mj anymore
ive had enough...
yup
shocking huh

i like being the alumni
its...chill

2 years of slogging my ass off at this place, cca and studies
plus living such a different life now, makes me wanna take things easy and not go back to the intensity of jc life

time to look forward!

it has been an exciting ride
but keep with the the excitement any longer, i will die of a heart attack

hahahahaha its a scary thought to know i'm 18
like
so old!

maybe its time to yknow...wise up and grow up
maybe
MAYBE

being 18 means extra responsibilities i guess
responsibilities are a pain in the ass, no doubt
DEFINITELY
but it cannot be helped, really...

HOWEVER
abandoning my nonsense side is quite impossible
i just think weird
you might call me fucked up
i dont care

but maybe just maybe i wont think of nonsense stuff when im occupied
boredom works in funny ways

...........................................

food for thought:

when you invite guests over for a party, or invite people for some event or outing, you expect the people to be nice, be fun, value add to your experience and make things more enjoyable right?

hmmmmm but when all the guests do are complain, turn around and accuse the host of stuff, ignore the host and leave him/her out, make the host feel unhappy, depressed, does the host deserve some sympathy?

buddy thinks so

I couldnt agree more

...............................................

Some people need a little bit more positivity in life
or maybe they got some shit thats putting them down
making unable live life

well
heres a song full of positivity
maybe its in a naive way

it makes me happy
just sharing it!

Curse,Curse me again

2010-01-12T22:13:00.003+08:00

eddyboy has labels

pain in the ass.
irritant.
stuff like that.
hahahahahaha
ouch

..........................................

been reading some "masterful", "classy" poems lately

i have been inspired! (by Godsmack)
this poem is the awesomestmestmestmest ever

title: WHATEVER

And I wonder,
Day to day.
I don't like you,
Anyway.
I don't need your,
Shit today.
You're pathetic,
in your own way!

AWESOME RIGHT!

i dedicate it to myself HAHAHAHA

Why. Does. It. Have. To. Be. Like. This!

2010-01-11T14:36:00.003+08:00

EVERYONE should HEAR this song
and EVERYONE should LOVE it too
really!
one of the awesomest "feel good" songs ever

funky groovy Jamiroquai with little l!

time for a little loooove on this blog!
(gotta love that red indian headgear too)

Occupied

2010-01-09T22:01:00.003+08:00

"quite busy"
all the time?
phew
eddyboy you gotta queue man
yup
just that people can cut it anytime they like
and when you get to the front of the queue, the "boss's" too lazy to entertain you!

eddyboy face it
you dont really matter, do ya?

Its All About Me

2010-01-05T21:48:00.002+08:00

is this what corporate life is like?

I finish my shit on my own
You finish yours on your own

We draw clear boundaries

I'm not gonna step into yours and help you

You do likewise

Well

No wonder you have fewer and fewer friends as you grow older!

I liked the 互相帮助(I help you you help me) mentality in primary school.

Sadly, this dies out as we grow older
and we become more conscious of the ME
my IMAGE
my LIFE
my BENEFITS

oh ME, ME, ME

so now it'll wont be 互相帮助 anymore.
its a one way(if it does happen), or zero way thing.

of course
we are kind to the people that matter to us
MATTER to us

so if you're not important to them, you're not going to be given a fuck about!

hahahaha seems to me like its another selfish thing
its all about my BENEFITS, IMAGE, and my LIFE

I hope to be proven wrong

but as days/years of "wisdom" pass me by
I increasingly lose hope with society and people

well if you tell me that I'm being over-critical,
prove me wrong then!

sincerely hope that will happen
hehehe

3 of this, 3 of that!

2010-01-04T23:12:00.002+08:00

inspired by demetri martins:

you know the term,"sorta"
like used as a filler at the end of what you say

here are 3 incidents you NEVER wanna hear "sorta" after

1. when your dad's surgeon says,"He'll be fine" or "He's Alive!"

2. when you boyfriend says,"I love you"

3. when the nurse who delivers you baby says, "Its a boy!"

the term "whatever" or "anything"
yup, so casual and so easy to use. especially for girls!
sounds so cool, so dao right? and especially when done with that *eyeroll*
but here are 3 incidents you should never answer whatever to

1. "Should we remove the life support for your mum?"

2. "I'm at the top of the building, and before I end my life, I wanna know whether you still care for me." (through the phone)

3. "Your kid is trapped in that burning house!"

"Huh?"
its very cute to act blur right?
like..."awwwww so adorable...he/she is in his own world....so cute..."
these are 3 incidents when "Huh?" can mean disaster
and reflect ones ignorance
yes. when ignorance isnt bliss
and isnt cute.

1. "Your son has been missing for 3 days!"

2. "Hey I left my gun with you where is it?" (when you are a cop. or soldier)

3. "Why did you donate your kidney to that stranger when your dad needs it?!"

and now. 3 things you should never say to a stranger peeing in the urinal next to you

1. "Can I join you?"

2. "Is that....blood?"

3. "Awwwwww....aint that little boy cute!" (looks downwards)

and on the topic of toilets, here are 3 things you can do to scare people away when you're in a toilet cubicle

1. Howl like wolf. Loudly

2. Make beeping noises while saying,"This place is going down with me"

3. Wrap some chocolate with toilet paper and keep throwing those bombs out.

yup
been thinking about such stuff in my free time
as you can see, i am a very very bored individual.
i need a new hobby! that i can do on my own

hmmmm....

maybe i should take up knitting.

Its Just Friday

2010-01-01T23:15:00.003+08:00

ooooooo....its 2010
time to look back, and look forward!

y'know, 2009 was quite an eventful year for me, i'd daresay the most eventful year i've had so far
and of course, being an asshole, I had to critic other stuff in 2009 too

lets see....

PEOPLE I KNOW
met more than a few people personally who I would love to say, "Goodbye,and good riddance" to in this new year. never have to see them again in 2010 woohoo
seriously
been such a pain in my rear,edmund thankful to say farewell to them. and like that line from auld lagne syne, "should all acquaintance be forgot",
I would be happy to forget you:)

of course
people that were nice, (i was going to put a "to me" there but wait, face it edmund, nobody is nice to you), interesting, chill...(add positive traits here)
i would love to say "Hi" to them in 2010!

SOCIETY
cant stand certain types of people
like those who wear "cheer you up shirts"
WORST clothing ever invented
and the people who wear it, I only have this to say to them.
"WTF?!"

and of course
the coloured hair and coloured skinnies chinese community
yes
im disgusted at groups in my own race
not like brian chia
he is disgusted with the entire race HAHA

HEARTBREAK/DISAPPOINTMENTS
had the biggest one in my life
losing it in the final few seconds still haunts me

couple of others
but nah
not really important

some people just disappoint again and again and again and again
edmund goes, "wtf?"
and edmund gives up

STRESS
had the most ever
hahahaha A levels, anyone?

ARSENAL
obviously a huge part of me!
had a good year
good signings, arshavin from last seasons january transfer window, and vermaelen!
playing good football
and we're now within range of the title leaders
so thats good too
hopefully we can win it
its been a painful few years being an arsenal fan
please, let us build on 2009, and win something, everything in 2010!

MUSIC
a shitty year for music(actually a shitty decade)
its all about electronic beats and auto tune now
wtf
maufacutured music
doesnt require much talent, does it?
and the scary part is, PEOPLE ACTUALLY LIKE IT

5 LESSONS LEARNT FROM 18 YEARS OF LIVING IN THIS PLANET

1. Girls have a clock that's 2 hours slow. They are always punctual. In their own time.

2. You don't need talent to make music. There's fucking technology.

3. People think being stupid is cool.

4. Sensitivity in humans knows no bounds. I could say,"oh look thats a nice brown cat" and people will start saying,"you fucking racist or what?!"

5. When self centred people become friends and everyone thinks about themselves, its not really called friends anymore. It called "existing along side one another'

ok

now, to look forward

2010!

RESOLUTIONS

1. Trim off that layer of fat. Be disciplined Edmund. you can become as strong without NS.

2. Stop bragging about my ability to play the recorder. As if it was cool in the first place.

3. Become Singapore Idol Runner Up. (thats the most I can go)

4. Find out which toothbrush is really mine and stop using any random colour toothbrush thats nice.

5. Drink less soft drinks. Maybe just 1 litre a day.

6. Grow more facial hair

7. Be more generous. I shall donate 10 cents more next time.

8. Give up on certain people. Its about time.

9. Learn how to play the guitar properly. 2 years of random strumming is enough, dont you think?

10. Make new guy friends. This is actually quite important.

11. Save the planet. Kill a beng a day.

12. 100% accuracy when peeing. Its damn hard. You can have 30 years of experience peeing through your hose, and "accidents" still happen.

13. Get a wife. Hey! Isnt it time?

14. Find out what is Left and Right in chinese. Zuo3 and You4. Which is which?!

etc etc.

hey, they are very hard to fulfill ok!

and and...just a shoutout to the world

hey, I've go no fucking NS.
so what?!
I've had an exciting medical history, they gave me a choice to be some clerk in and office, or totally skip it.
I chose to skip it.
why waste time doing stuff in an office when I can be out there pursuing a dream?

I wanted to shoot guns and kill people and drive tanks
they wouldnt let me
so....
fuck it!

and to those annoying people that tell me,"eh you never go army you not man ar"
Isnt it quite sad that people have to go through 2 years of routine life with a bunch of other, similar men, just to realise, "hey! I have 2 balls and a dick!"
I'm sorry, I dont really need that
you guys and go act tough, be tough all you like
yeah yeah you guys so buff and tough, you'll get all the girls, right?
ok
show me.

if those chicks are gonna be so superficial and judge and go for them for spending years in camp, well...it says alot doesnt it?

so yeah
its ok
I dont need that sense of security,"I've been through NS, I'm a man"

going through all that hell and pain that not many can imagine 3 years ago.
and recovering to be as ok as I am now(save for that bloody long scar on my head)

I daresay I'm as much a man you are, bitch.

Take No Shit!

2009-12-30T23:50:00.001+08:00

if you dont like this, I dedicate it to you!

awesome shit
Megadeth's Take no Prisoners!